


You Can Call Me Artist

by Junliet



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Angst, Coming Out, Developing Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Idol AU, M/M, Music, Panic Attacks, Poisoning, Poor working conditions, Referenced Eating Disorders, Sasaeng Fan(s), Singer AU, injuries, will update as I go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:15:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 38,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25003741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Junliet/pseuds/Junliet
Summary: "The theme is grief. It's my seventh album. The Seven Stages of Grief."(Or, the Singer AU nobody asked for)
Relationships: Jason Brown & Jun Hwan Cha, Jason Brown/Shoma Uno, Javier Fernández/Yuzuru Hanyu, Jun Hwan Cha & Yuzuru Hanyu, Jun Hwan Cha/Conrad Orzel, Mao Asada/Yuna Kim, Yuzuru Hanyu & Jason Brown, Yuzuru Hanyu & Keiji Tanaka
Comments: 28
Kudos: 62





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! I know, I know, I wasn't going to start this until I'd finished pokémon however I saw that video of Jun singing and... Well... Here we are! This work is about the music industry and it's not perfect, so please be aware of the tags! (I will update them for each chapter if there are any changes) Any songs I use/reference in the chapters I will link in the end notes and so, without further ado, I hope you all enjoy this chapter and this story!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I know, I know, I wasn't going to start this until I'd finished pokémon however I saw that video of Jun singing and... Well... Here we are! This work is about the music industry and it's not perfect, so please be aware of the tags! (I will update them for each chapter if there are any changes) I don't speak Spanish so sorry for any errors in it! Any songs I use/reference in the chapters I will link in the end notes and so, without further ado, I hope you all enjoy this chapter and this story!!!

"Okay okay, and now the bits you've all been waiting for! The collaborations! I would never have made it so far in my career if I wasn't constantly inspired to work as hard as I did, so please everyone put your hands together for my friend: Yuzuru Hanyu!"

The performer on the stage set the microphone back in the stand and applauded along with the crowd as a singer with a black electric guitar over his back walked on. His black hair was gelled out of his eyes, and his ripped jeans and tour shirt gave off a different vibe to the other performer's soft grey jumper and pale blue jeans. They exchanged a hug, being mindful of the guitar, before they parted. The guitar was set down before they both took a microphone in their hands.

"Thank you so much Yuzu for joining me here." The crowd screamed and both the men exchanged a smile. "It means the world, and I know the people of Madrid are so happy to see you."

"I love performing, and everyone in Spain is always so lovely. Hola Madrid!" Yuzuru called into his microphone and was met with screams of happiness. "Gracias!"

"Do you want to announce the song, or should I?" the other teased him. "Is your Spanish good enough?" He turned to the crowd, laughing and bringing them on side. "What do you guys think? Should Yuzu introduce the song?"

A yell of YES rippled through the arena and Yuzuru giggled into the microphone, scrunching up his nose as he spoke with the most adorable Spanish accent. "La siguiente canción es Lovely!"

The gentle notes of the piano and strings rang out through the speakers as the screams from the crowd died down, and the two performers looked over at each other before Yuzuru started off, singing the song that they'd written together in the studio all those years ago. Lights from people's phones lit up the darkness of the crowd, creating a sea of stars around them. They didn't have an intense dance to distract from the music; it was just them and the light accompaniment. The crowd loved it, and there was a very brief moment of silence after the last notes and the word "home" finished resonating through the venue. The two performers turned to each other and exchanged a smirk when more upbeat music came through the speakers eliciting a shriek of excitement from the crowd. The pair of them danced to this one, looking like polar opposites between the softness of the Spaniard and the hard rock of the Japanese. Their performance to Beautiful Liar, another duet that they had written together, had the crowd cheering and dancing along with them as the two moved in beautiful synchronisation even though they hadn't practiced it in forever. They swapped the lead and backing vocals between the pair of them and the song was over much too soon for anyone. It was a fan favourite song; the two men were both attractive but in very different ways and their styles brought it out. Yuzuru was androgynous with heavy dark makeup and combat boots whereas Javier looked much more masculine and softened it up with his clothing choices. On the stage, they looked like a dream and a nightmare rolled into one and the crowd screamed and cheered for at least one more song between them.

"Do you think we should give them one more song?"

"I don't know Javi," Yuzuru tapped his chin with that cheeky smile, black painted nail trailing over his soft skin, "Do they really want a third song?"

The crowd screamed and cheered but Javier just tilted his head at them. "I'm not sure, Yuzu. I don't think they do. Do you?" He asked the crowd, earning louder cheers in response. "We can't hear you!"

The crowd screamed even louder and both performers burst out laughing into their microphones.

"Well," Javier said with a chuckle, "then we have another guest to welcome to the stage! Ladies and gentlemen, Damas y caballeros, please welcome, por favor bienvenidos, Korean superstar, Jun Hwan Cha!"

From the wings, a nervous but smiling Korean teenager in one of the tours' shirts and soft pale blue jeans stepped out, waving to the crowd and saying his thanks to them into his microphone. While the other two used standing mics that they would take off the stands, Jun had a microphone that wound around his head so that he had both hands free for the legendary dances that got his videos millions of views and sent him skyrocketing up the charts. The crowd cooed for him as he made his little Korean hearts to them before he sat down at the piano, looking to the other performers before he started to play the sad and gentle chords that started of the Spanish duet that the two had recorded together. Javier had taught it to Jun before the tour so that the three of them could do this beautiful performance at the very last stop.

A pin drop could have been heard as the two performers sang the emotional duet together. The emotions could be felt through the music, through the Spanish words, through the soft piano notes, and from the very simple performance. They didn't do a flashy intense dance. The two singers stood beside each other, looking to the other instead of the audience as they performed. Me muero por conocerte was one of Javier's best selling songs ever, and the emotion was most of the reason why. They held the audience in the palm of their hands for the entire duration, and there were a good few seconds of silence after Jun had ended the final piano chord. The crowd then erupted into applause and the three bowed together in a line.

"Alright!" Javier spoke into his microphone when the screaming died down. "We're getting near the end but there's just enough time for a few other performances. So Yuzu and I are going to go and give this one," he patted Jun on the head, much to the amusement of the crowd, "his moment in the spotlight. Once again ladies and gentlemen, Jun Hwan Cha, performing Really really!"

As the two left the stage, the crew cleared off the microphone stands and Yuzuru picked up his guitar so that Jun had space for his complicated dance with his backing performers. The peppy and upbeat song started and Yuzuru sighed, sitting down backstage as he adjusted his guitar tuning quietly.

"Two minutes until you're performing again," he was instructed and he nodded, accepting the water bottle handed to him as he watched Jun dancing around on the screen. How the child had that much energy, he wouldn't know; he guessed adrenaline had something to do with it. He and the crew bopped along to the music, enjoying the performance Jun gave and they applauded him when he pulled his final pose and was enveloped in rapturous applause.

"Gracias Madrid!" His accent was almost as cute as Yuzuru's and he made his Korean hearts before waving to the crowd. "And now, y ahora, por favor bienvenidos, sensación de rock japonés, Yuzuru Hanyu!"

The crowd screeched with excitement as Jun left the stage on one side and Yuzuru came on with his black electric guitar. A microphone was set up for him at the front of the stage and he spoke into it with a bright smile.

"Hola again Madrid! How are we all doing?" He was met with a scream before he over dramatically looked down at his guitar and shook his head. "Looks like I've got the wrong guitar for this song. Oops!"

The crowd squealed with excitement as a crew member brought out Yuzuru's other black guitar. It had Kaneki's face on part of it and Yuzuru strummed a couple of chords before he grinned.

" _Oshiete oshiete yo sono shikumi wo."_

The crowd went insane as Yuzuru started to play his most famous song. Made extra famous by the Tokyo Ghoul anime, Unravel was a fan favourite out of all Yuzuru's songs and he liked to end his concerts on it. He'd got the Kaneki guitar when he'd recorded it for the anime and it became as much a part of the Unravel performance as the lyrics or chords. With his dark eyes framed with heavy and intense eyeliner, Yuzuru threw himself into the performance and the crowd soaked it all up, enjoying every moment right up until the last chord. The screamed again, cheering for him and clamouring for more, and Yuzuru took the microphone in his right hand.

"Thank you so much Spain! Gracias España! And now, for his final performance, de España, Javier Fernandez!"

Yuzuru gestured to the other as he came onstage, giving Yuzuru a hug as they both minded the guitar before Yuzuru left and Javier took the microphone.

"For this last piece, I need some help I think." He gestured to the piano and waved at the wings. "Come on Jun! I need your help here!"

The teenager rushed out, bowing to the audience again, before he took his place at the piano coloured in pastel blues and pink. He played the gentle opening notes and, as the crowd recognised it, they lit their phone lights and started swaying too. Javier's voice was delicate, gentle, and held an almost sad, wistful tone as he sang. Prometo. I promise. Audience members started crying partway through as the performance seemed to hold a different emotional weight. Javier always finished off his performances with Prometo, like Yuzuru finished them off with Unravel, but this time it felt much more emotional and felt like it held more weight in it. The crowd in Madrid applauded much louder than they had at the end of the song and Javier bowed to them several times before he brought Yuzuru and Jun to stand with him and bowed with them.

"I just wanna say, just before you all go, thank you so much for coming here. All of you. I've been considering this for a while now, and as I'm sure many of you have guessed, this is my last tour as a performing artist." Gasps and little shouts of no echoed around the arena but almost everyone was focused only on Javier. "I've loved it. It's been the best thing in the world, getting to perform for all of you and spreading my love of music to the world, but I think I'd like to go into production rather than performance. So, what better place to end it than the city I started in?" Javier gave a very tearful smile before he kept speaking. "Thank you Madrid. Gracias Madrid! Y te prometo que vamos a volvernos eternos."

Applause broke out through the crowd as the three performers left the stage, letting it go dark. Backstage Jun was all but whisked away by one of his managers who was speaking rapid fire Korean at him, leaving Yuzuru and Javier backstage together.

"You are so bad," Yuzuru shook his head at Javier as tears ran down his cheeks. "You're so lucky that I only wear water and tear-proof eye makeup and eyeliner. You didn't think to tell me before hand that this was your last ever tour?"

"Because you would have begged me to stay," Javier said with tearful eyes before he sighed and gave Yuzuru a weak smile. "You know, you're welcome to stay in--"

"I'd love to," Yuzuru mumbled to him, "but you know I can't."

"Yeah. Fans, huh?" Javier stood by him as Yuzuru packed up his two guitars, letting his managers and stylists pack up everything else for him.

"Fans," Yuzuru said with a little grimace but he burst out laughing when they reached the gift boxes Javier had left in the foyer of the arena. Yuzuru's was overflowing with Pooh bears and flowers, and Javi's was overflowing with flowers and heart plushies. They exchanged a smile when they spotted Yuzuru's stylist and, separating the flowers and letters out, they put the plushies in a large pile before they let him film the pair of them jumping into them, giggling.

"Thanks for an amazing tour!" Javier said to the camera before Keiji uploaded it to his Instagram live. "And thank you so much for coming, Yuzuru. It wouldn't have been the same without you." He and Yuzuru gave each other a tight hug before Yuzuru was all but ushered into his vehicle by Keiji.

"See you soon!" Yuzuru called after him before the door was shut and he slumped down in the seat in the car, sitting between his guitars and a bag filled with the pooh bear plushies he'd been gifted by the fans. "What now?" He mumbled to Keiji.

"Now," his stylist waved plane tickets in front of him, "we're going to rest at your hotel room. Then, tomorrow morning, we'll go and donate these pooh bears to a hospital, and in the afternoon we're going back to Toronto."

"To start work on my new album," Yuzuru nodded. "I've got some ideas already."

"Great, great, you want to tell me so I can start designing your cover art and we can arrange photo shoots with Ryuju for the promotional material?"

"The theme is grief. It's my seventh album. The Seven Stages of Grief."

Keiji raised an eyebrow at him but nodded, jotting something down in his notebook. "I've already contacted Brian for you so you can rest up tonight."

"Thanks, Keiji."

"Hi everyone!" Yuzuru waved at the camera before he held up a Kaneki decorated Pooh bear. "Thank you so much for all your kind gifts! I picked out this one and Keiji picked out," he reached around and picked up a pooh bear in a bee costume, "this one! The rest we will be donating to Hosptial Infantil Universitario Niño Jesus for the kids! Thank you guys so much for all your support and I'll start working on the next album soon! Bye bye!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Lovely](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1Pl8CzNzCw)   
>  [Beautiful Liar](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrOe2h9RtWI)   
>  [Me Muero por conocerte](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLzpPlxATag)   
>  [Really Really](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4tBnF46ybZk)   
> 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuzuru knocked on the edge of one of the office doors with his acoustic guitar across his back.
> 
> "Morning Tracy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I hope you've had a good week. I'm really not sure where this is going at the moment (yes, I have the whole thing plotted but that doesn't mean I know what I'm doing lets be honest here) so sorry if it's kind of chaotic. Thank you guys so much for reading it and enjoy xxx

Yuzuru knocked on the edge of one of the office doors with his acoustic guitar across his back.

"Morning Tracy."

"Morning Yuzu," She walked with him to the little kitchen at the recording studio and put the kettle on before she looked him up and down with a smile. "How are you doing? Green tea?"

"Please," Yuzuru reached a Pooh bear mug out of one of the cupboards, setting it beside Tracy's mug decorated with tulips.

"How was the end of Javi's tour?" Tracy's tone was light and gentle, with just the right amount of maternal concern as she put her loose leaf pu'er tea leaves into her strainer.

"It was good. It's always fun performing in Madrid." Yuzuru's smile dimmed and he busied himself with pouring the boiling water into their mugs to hide his expression. "Which studios are free today?"

"Jun's in studio one, so two, three, four, and five. I think Jason is coming in later for a shoot for the promotional stuff for his album, and then I think he's recording a couple more." She raised an eyebrow over the top of her mug as she looked at him. "You've just got back from joining Javi on his world tour and you're going to start working on your next album straight away?"

Yuzuru chewed on his lip, painted fingernails tapping against the ceramic of his mug as he thought.

"I have to start straight away," Yuzuru finally spoke up, mumbling into his cup of tea. "The emotions are here," he tapped his heart and then his head, "and I want to write the songs before they go and fade. I want to capture the emotion in my music now."

Understanding blossomed across Tracy's face and she patted his shoulder gently.

"Want to take studio two for the day? Don't work yourself too hard though. I'll come in and check on you if you'd like."

"Thanks Tracy," Yuzuru gave her a smile as they set off towards the studios together.

The club had five recording rooms, two dance studios, and a room for photo shoots. The dance studios had windows so they could see into the hallways, and studio one had a window out into the hallways when the others didn't. All the studios had links to individual sound control rooms and they were separated by walls with windows. Jun was sitting in studio one with the noise cancelling headphones on, and he gave Yuzuru a wave before he went back to singing something into the microphone. A highly grumpy looking bodyguard, manager, Yuzuru wasn't quite sure, standing outside studio one gave Yuzuru a glare as he headed into the adjacent studio, shutting the door behind him and breathing a sigh of relief. The silence was almost comforting to him, broken only by the soft sound of ceramic against wood before Yuzuru took to the seat and unpacked his guitar. His acoustic would always be his favourite. There was something comforting and so genuine about the untouched and unchanged soft brown wood, and the unedited sound it produced felt close to Yuzuru's heart. He tuned the strings, humming the tune of one of his old songs before he reached into his bag for his notebook and a pencil. Picking at the strings, he played a little and hummed a new tune along to it for a while, filling the room with the sound of only him and his guitar. Getting into it, he started to tap his foot and bob his head along to it before he stopped and jotted the ideas down in his notebook. When he went for it again, he started singing some soft words in Japanese under his breath, following the melody he'd come up with not long before. So invested in his music, Yuzuru didn't even notice as the lights turned on in the control room for studio 2. He was only broken out of his planning and composing zone when a voice crackled through the microphone and speakers linking the studio and control room.

"You doing alright Yuzu?"

He sat bolt upright and looked over at the control room, relaxing when he spotted the smiling older man sitting in the next room.

"Ghislain, give me warning next time!" He went back to strumming his guitar before he glanced up at the other. "Will you listen?"

"Of course I will," Ghislain slipped into the seat in the control room and flicked a couple of switches. "I won't record this. Are you going to sing a load of Japanese words to me that I won't understand again?"

Yuzuru smiled, rubbing the back of his neck and he nodded. Ghislain chuckled and nodded, adjusting the headphones as he settled in the chair.

"I want you to tell me what it makes you feel," Yuzuru said as he adjusted the tuning of a couple of his guitar strings. "It's better that you don't understand the Japanese because then you focus more on the emotion of the music."

Ghislain nodded, flicking a couple more switches before he nodded to Yuzuru. "Whenever you're ready."

Yuzuru strummed through the chords a couple of times before he started playing the song. Nothing existed outside of that little studio. The only thing that existed in that moment was the music, the gentle guitar music and Yuzuru's emotional voice. He was an enigma, and that's how Yuzuru liked it. The public saw him in all black, in ripped jeans, in black leather gloves with no fingers, with dark eyeliner and painted black nails. They saw him playing with a black or Kaneki electric guitar. Even when he played his softer songs, he had a sharp edge to him in his appearance and presence. But, when he was in the safety of his apartment or the club, he wasn't like that at all. His black hair was fluffy and soft instead of gelled out of his eyes. He took his acoustic with him instead of one of his electrics, unless he was recording. Most of the time he wore either Under Armour sport leggings or sweatpants with an oversized hoodie. The nail varnish he kept on, but he never bothered wearing eyeliner or makeup to the club. If Keiji didn't live with him to check him over before he left his apartment, he would probably end up going everywhere in his pyjamas. Songs like the one he was performing for Ghislain were a little window to his softer side, and provided some clues as to what was really going on inside Yuzuru's head.

"What do you think?" Yuzuru asked him, looking up from his notebook as he pushed his glasses up his nose. Ghislain gave him a smile and applauded him.

"Beautiful," Ghislain said through to the other room. "Just beautiful Yuzuru. Is it for your newest album?"

Yuzuru nodded, jotting something else down in his notebook before he looked back up to Ghislain. "You think I should change the chords near the end from this," he strummed a little bit of it for the other, "or this?" He played it again, changing up the chord progression at the end before he frowned. "Or maybe it would be better if I didn't do chords but reduced it down to just picking?"

"What are you trying to convey at that point?" Ghislain asked him before he laughed. "Is it alright if I come in there to help you? It's easier without this glass wall in between us."

Yuzuru burst out laughing and nodded. Ghislain came and joined him in the studio and, as they sat there together going through some of the songs that Yuzuru had jotted ideas down for. Yuzuru played several ideas and Ghislain gave him little suggestions for tweaking the chords. All the way through, Yuzuru was constantly asking Ghislain if he could still feel the emotions of the song. After they'd finished working on the five songs that Yuzuru had jotted down ideas for, they took a break for lunch and headed towards the dining area of the club. It was under heavy security and for very good reason. Yuzuru settled next to Jason in the cafe and the American gave him a bright smile.

"Hi Yuzu! Saw your amazing performance in Madrid. You're so talented."

Yuzuru gave him a smile, opening up his Winnie the Pooh Tupperware boxes before he tucked into his rice, chicken, and vegetables that he'd packed the night before. "Thanks Jason. How's the album going?"

"All done!" Jason pretended to flop back into his chair before he sat up straighter, beaming. "All the art is done, and Shoma finished designing my look for the posters so we did the shoot today finally. I'm excited since it's my first album with you guys, and it's also from the heart, you know?"

"As the best music is," Yuzuru agreed. "What's your favourite song on the album? Sorry I haven't had the chance to listen to it yet."

"You were busy with your world tour and then Javier's world tour. You don't need to apologise," Jason waved him off. "My favourite song from the album is Dancing on my Own. It's kind of a nice ballad style song, a little sad but emotional too. I'll have to play it for you sometime, and-- hey Jun."

The teen settled in the seat opposite to Jason, giving him a wave as he sipped from a bottle of water. Yuzuru and Jason exchanged a look, filled with unspoken concern, before they looked back at Jun.

"How's your album going?" Jason's tone held that same gentle kindness as Tracy's words always did, and he made everyone feel like he was their brother.

"Good," Jun gave them both a sunshine smile that did nothing to hide the bone-deep exhaustion. "Really good. We've got two of the songs recorded, and--"

"Two recorded? Didn't you get back from Madrid like... A week ago?"

Jun nodded and his smile dimmed. "Yeah, I know, I'm so behind! I'm meant to have dropped some of the art by now at the very least, so that's work for this afternoon. And then choreographing dances to them, and-- how are both of your new albums going?"

"Good," Jason, to direct the conversation away from Jun's terrible situation, started on a long funny story about how Shoma had nearly fallen asleep doing his makeup that morning since they'd both had to get up so early for Jason's photo shoot ready for the cover art. "-- and then he messed up my eye makeup and drew a line of eye shadow right down my cheek so he had to redo the entire thing! Thank God the rest of the crew were running late too otherwise we would have been in so much trouble."

Jun and Yuzuru both burst out laughing when Brian came over to their table, leading a blonde young man with sharp cheekbones over too. The three turned to face the owner of the club with questioning gazes.

"Yuzuru, Jun, Jason, this is Conrad Orzel. He's just signed with us, so you'll be seeing him around here more in the future. I'll be working with him in studio three after his lunch break. Jason, are you using studio four?"

"If that's alright with you?"

Brian nodded, looking over at Yuzuru. "Studio two?"

"Studio two please."

"Jun, are you using a studio this afternoon?" Brian threw a not so subtle glare across the room to where a very flustered looking Korean man stood, checking his watch every ten seconds. "Or do they have something else planned?"

"I don't think I'll be using the studio, but thank you!"

With Jun's sunshine smile, Brian left their table and Conrad slipped into the seat beside Jun.

"Hi Conrad!" As always, Jason was the most social and open of them all. Yuzuru studied Conrad over the top of his rice as Jun looked at him with curiosity as he sipped at his water. "Lovely to meet you! So, you're recording, huh? What's your style?"

"I don't really know if I have a style as such," Conrad laughed and his nerves came through very clearly, "but I like listening to pretty much everything. I play guitar and have a couple of ideas down for songs for my first album that Brian and Tracy have been so supportive of, so I can't wait to get started."

"What's your favourite thing to listen to?" Yuzuru asked and Conrad turned bright red; his blush was made much worse by his pale complexion.

"This is going to sound so bad, but I'm actually a huge Jun Hwan Cha stan," Jun choked on his water beside him as Jason burst out laughing. "I mean, I have the light stick, I have your album, I have a poster, I'm honestly such a fanboy for you. I'm so sorry but, um, if it's not weird," he reached around into his bag and Jun giggled when he was presented with a copy of his first album and a sharpie, "would you please sign my album?"

"Of course," Jun signed the back of it and drew a little smiley face before he handed it back to Conrad and stood up. "Sorry! I've got to dash. See you guys around!"

Floating out of the room behind the Korean man, who started all but yelling at Jun as they left the room, the young star looked like a cloud of pastel pink and blue. The three others at the table watched him go and Jason shook his head in despair.

"His music is so beautiful, and he's so talented, and they treat him like that?"

"It's awful," Yuzuru agreed. "Believe me, if I had my way Jun would be out of that deal as fast as I could manage it."

Jason nodded and Yuzuru tapped at his chin, thinking.

"I wonder if his management would let me do a collaboration with him. I want a piano track on my newest album."

Yuzuru, after his break, headed back to the studio to take down more notes on his songs and to just play on his own. As studio two had no windows and only a clock on the wall that was easy to ignore, Yuzuru didn’t realise how much time had passed until Brian knocked on the door.

“We’re closing up the club for the night. Keiji’s here to take you home.”

Yuuru nodded, chewing on his bottom lip as he packed up his guitar and notebook. Giving Brian a smile, he pulled his hood up and sprinted from the club to Keiji’s car, avoiding the camera flashes and microphones shoved in his face. He settled down in the passenger seat and Keiji raised an eyebrow at him as they drove away from the studio and reporters.

“You want to get ice cream on the way home?”

“Please.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Dancing on my Own](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q31tGyBJhRY)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The days at the recording studio followed a slightly disturbing pattern for Brian and Keiji.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, welcome to chapter 3 of this story. I hope you're all doing well, and I hope that you all enjoy this chapter. The tags start to apply a lot more here, so please please be aware of them! Thank you all so much for reading this and I hope you enjoy it xxx

The days at the recording studio followed a slightly disturbing pattern for Brian and Keiji. They watched as Yuzuru came to the club every day, hid himself away in studio two with his guitar, and only emerged when someone dragged him out for a lunch break or Keiji dragged him home, coaxing him out with the promise of ice cream. At their apartment, Yuzuru moped around on the sofa with either ice cream or his acoustic guitar, strumming through chords from his old songs. Keiji watched him, mug of tea in hand as he leaned in the doorway.

"You're not okay."

Yuzuru hummed, finishing on an A minor chord before he looked up at Keiji, dark eyes seeming to glow underneath where his hoodie had been pulled over his head. He shrugged, looking back down at his guitar as he strummed through a couple more chords.

"Yuzuru."

"What."

Keiji sat down on the sofa next to him and Yuzuru scooted along from him, holding his guitar almost protectively as he kept strumming. Keiji reached for it to take it from him and Yuzuru turned away like a petulant child, protecting it from him.

"Yuzuru, we need to talk."

"We are talking."

"Put the guitar down."

Yuzuru clung to it like a child to their blanket and Keiji sighed, patting the other's knee.

"Yuzuru, you know this isn't healthy."

"Don't care."

"Yuzuru—"

"I said I don't care! Does it even matter?"

For all Yuzuru's harsh words, he didn't put up a proper fight as Keiji took his guitar from him and set it down in the stand in the corner of the room. He pulled Yuzuru into a hug, letting his head rest on his shoulder with his other hand holding Yuzuru's waist. The other held the front of Keiji's shirt and his his face in his neck, letting out the softest sobs.

"I miss him," Yuzuru whispered, hiccuping through his sobs as he curled Keiji's shirt in his fist. "It's so selfish. i know he wants to be at home for a while and this isn't for him anymore, but I just... I want him back so badly."

Keiji nodded, holding Yuzuru closer and providing silent and physical comfort that he knew, from years of friendship, how to best give. He didn't push Yuzuru to talk but let him sob into his shoulder and kept holding and supporting him until the sobs died down into nearly silent shivers and he just clung to Keiji. He'd exhausted himself and couldn't do much but hold onto him and sniffle. He didn't have any more tears to cry, and Keiji pulled Yuzuru's hood down so that he could stroke his hair like he was a pet cat that needed comforting.

"I feel so bad, because I know he needs this time back home with his family, but my selfishness just wants to pull him into my arms and never let him go."

"Did you ever tell him?"

Yuzuru shook his head and sniffled, burying his face in the front of Keiji's shirt.

"Is that why...?"

Yuzuru nodded, sitting up enough for Keiji to grab him some tissues to dab the tears off his splotchy red face. The singer held his Pooh bear tissue box in his arms as Keiji wordlessly got up to make him some hot chocolate to comfort him. They cuddled on the sofa together with Yuzuru sipping at his hot chocolate. Keiji microwaved him some gyoza and minute rice, passing him the bowl to let him pick at the food.

"This album is for him. I've been able to work on it so fast just because I miss him so much and I've been feeling so much. Seeing his album posters on the walls of the club. I-I... I just miss him so much, Keiji."

"I know," Keiji gave him a sympathetic smile as he wrapped an arm around Yuzuru's shoulders and gave him a squeeze. "I know. Maybe this album will really help you get over him?"

"Maybe."

* * *

Yuzuru stood in the hallway of the club, back to the windows looking into the dance studios, and his eyes lingered on one of the framed album posters. The wall was covered in them, and each of the designers and singers that had recorded them had signed the bottom corners. Yuzuru unconsciously raised his hand, tracing Javier's loopy and curved signature. It was signed in white on the corner of the red and black CD art. It was the first album Javier had recorded while Yuzuru had been there recording at the club with him, and it was also the first album that had a collaboration between the two of them on it. He looked the art up and down, enjoying the simple colours creating a gradient of black to red with light silver decorations in the corners. Javier's album designs were like that; simple but beautiful. Yuzuru gave a small and wistful smile. Simple and beautiful was the best way of describing Javier's music. He didn't need the intense electric guitar and drums that some of Yuzuru's music had, and he didn't need the dances and bright colours that Jun's music were associated with. Javier's brand was elegant and his music felt like home. It felt relatable, comforting, and, when Yuzuru was having a bad day, he would listen to some of Javier's older albums and let himself wallow in the warmth of the other's voice.

"Hi Yuzu," he turned, giving a warm smile to the out of breath Jun who was leaning against the door of one of the dance studios, "everything alright?"

Yuzuru nodded, trying to give the younger a fake smile. Jun sipped from his water bottle and brushed his black curls away from his sweaty forehead. His cheeks were flushed and he had a post-exercise glow that seemed to come from his whole being.

"What were you doing?"

"Oh, getting some new dances choreographed for my next album and music videos," Jun brushed his hair out of his eyes as it stubbornly fell back into them, "and also touching up on the choreography of the dances for some of my older songs."

"Ready for your tour, right? Have you released the dates yet?"

"I've got to finish the album," Jun said, smile dimming but he quickly caught himself and replaced it. "Finish the album, hopefully by the end of the month, then get all the dances choreographed, the videos recorded, and then the albums designed, the promotional photographs taken, some social media hype, and then release the videos and the album, and _then_ we can release some merchandise and then finally, tour dates and tickets."

Yuzuru just stared at him and shook his head with half a smile. "That sounds like an awful lot to do Jun."

"My management sorts a lot of it out for me, so it should be alright," Jun sipped more from his water bottle before he checked his phone and grimaced. "Sorry Yuzu. Got to run! I've got three more dances to practice before my next break."

"Don't work yourself too hard!" Yuzuru called after him as Jun disappeared into the dance studio again. Yuzuru's words fell on deaf ears, not that it was really in Jun's control at all.

Jun was always at the club well before Yuzuru arrived, even in the midst Yuzuru's current episode where he didn't want to do anything other than write music, and he stayed longer than Yuzuru in the evenings. After letting his creative ideas flow in the studio for a few hours, his stomach finally cut in with fierce growls and demanded that he attend to that instead of hiding away in the studio. Leaving his things in studio two and locking the door behind him, he headed down the hallway of the club towards the cafeteria. He bought himself a pot of pasta from the salad bar before he flopped down at one of the seats in the corner, sipping at his water as he picked at the pasta. Keiji would have killed him if he'd skipped lunch if his stomach hadn't distracted him from working first.

"Hi, sorry," Yuzuru looked up from where he was stirring his pasta around in the pot and met Conrad's warm honey coloured eyes. The youngster rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, shifting his weight from foot to foot before he gestured to one of the seats at Yuzuru's table, "do you mind?"

Yuzuru shrugged, gesturing for him to sit down and he put his notebook away so that he appeared slightly more approachable. Conrad rubbed the back of his head and gave Yuzuru the most awkward smile the singer had ever seen.

"You good? You settled in?"

"Oh, yeah, it's been amazing. Everyone's so lovely at the club. Tracy in particular has been so helpful with my songs for my album."

"How's it going?" Yuzuru put effort into trying to make him feel better, and in trying to make himself seem more approachable. "First albums can be hard, but a good one can really give you a boost. Help you get your big break."

Conrad nodded, stirring his ramen noodles around aimlessly for a moment before he sighed, rubbing at his forehead.

"I might be overstepping my boundaries, and please let me know if I am since you seem to know best, but is Jun alright? He barely leaves the dance studio or the recording studio, and he's never not being shadowed by his Korean managers, and have you ever seen him eat?"

"It's been like that since he moved here," Yuzuru said with a deep sigh full of regret. "He trains from early in the morning to late at night, and takes a break for about an hour but usually only drinks water or occasionally a sugary drink." He thoughtfully chewed on some of his pasta before he added. "I wish there was more I could do to help him, but his management is iron tight. They're pretty strict about everything. He even had his phone confiscated when he was messaging his older brother and they didn't like what he was saying."

"That's messed up," Conrad ran his hands through his hair and ruffled it up more. Yuzuru tried to swallow down the lump in his throat as the gesture seemed so familiar. "I'm a fan of his and now I feel bad for paying towards that sort of thing."

"Don't," Yuzuru reassured him as Jason slipped into the seat next to Conrad, "since it's not your fault. You're still supporting him. If the fans all boycotted it, then more pressure would be put on their performers I'd guess, and then it would be even worse for them."

"This is Jun?" Jason asked and the pair nodded. "God, yeah, I don't know what sort of conditions he had back in Korea, but Brian and Tracy actually managed to negotiate him better ones here. Still, I couldn't help but want to cry for him when he fainted in the middle of his performance in Seoul last year."

"Oh God, yeah, that video went viral," Conrad grimaced. "Right in the middle of the dance to Juliette too."

Jason nodded with a sigh. "Poor thing. And then they made him do another show for all those people to 'make up for it'. Like it wasn't their fault he collapsed on stage. Some people just grind my gears."

"I never thought I'd hear you go off on someone," Yuzuru joked, "but yes. Jun's situation is difficult to say the least. I think Brian has the most issues with it and definitely feels the most stuck."

The three of them went silent for a moment with tension and regret hanging heavy in the air. Jun waved at them and slipped into the seat next to Conrad at the table.

"You guys all look so down. What's wrong? Smile! There's got to be something worth smiling about today, right? We finally finished choreographing one of my dances and we'll be filming the video soon."

"That's great!" Jason reached across the table and gave Jun's hand a gentle squeeze. "That's fantastic Jun! I'll be recording the last song of my album later today and then CA-23 will be ready!" He pulled a face that made Jun laugh genuinely. "Well, nearly ready. Shoma still needs to help me with the art and the photo shoots and everything."

"But musically ready," Jun's smile, while forced, was still infectious and made Conrad smile. Their smiles all dimmed a little and Jun's dimmed completely when he saw one of his managers. "Sorry guys, talk to you later? Maybe tomorrow?"

"Wait," Yuzuru cut in for a moment as Conrad slipped a granola bar into the pocket of Jun's bag, "Jun, how would you feel about collaborating on a song?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Juliette](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwkP3qfwqs8)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jun yawned, stretching his arms above his head before he gave Brian a sleepy wave hello and stepped into the club. If someone asked him in an interview if the early starts and late nights with only Sundays off were worth it, of course he would have said yes. If someone asked him now, when he was running on the power of a cup of tea and four hours of sleep, he wasn't quite sure his answer would be the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I hope you're all doing well. Some of the tags really do apply to this chapter so please please please be aware of them! Also I'm so sorry how many songs I've included in this chapter at the end (please don't feel you have to listen to all of them!) A massive thank you goes to the people who helped me pick out the songs for each of the artists in the story. Thank you so much for reading this and I hope you all enjoy it!

Jun yawned, stretching his arms above his head before he gave Brian a sleepy wave hello and stepped into the club. If someone asked him in an interview if the early starts and late nights with only Sundays off were worth it, of course he would have said yes. If someone asked him now, when he was running on the power of a cup of tea and four hours of sleep, he wasn't quite sure his answer would be the same. His Canadian manager and his Korean manager both stepped out of the office together, and Jun looked between them in confusion.

"In," his Korean manager ushered him into the office and Jun just sat down in front of the desk, getting more and more confused as the time passed. The tension hung heavy in the air and he sipped at some of water while he waited.

"Yuzuru," Jun's head snapped up and he saw the other artist step into the office with his guitar over his back, "thanks for coming in early."

"It's no problem," Yuzuru sat down next to Jun, finishing off his breakfast bar as Brian and Jun's Korean manager sat on the other side of the desk. "Thanks for coming in early Jun."

The youngster blinked at him, shrugging with a shy smile. "I'm always here at this time. It's no trouble. Uh... Why are we here?"

"Mr Hanyu has made a request to write and record a collaboration with you," Jun's manager cut in before Brian could respond, speaking in Korean just to confuse the other further, "for his newest album."

"I have no idea what he just said," Brian's tone was scathing and cold, full of disdain for the other, "but Jun, Yuzuru would like do collaborate with you on a song."

"I'd love to!" Jun responded in English first before he glanced at his manager, smile dropping. "I can, right?"

Brian wasn't quite sure what his Korean manager was saying, but, from Jun's expression, it wasn't pleasant news. Jun nodded, responding quietly in Korean before he swapped to English for the benefit of Brian and Yuzuru.

"I can!"

"Great," the pair left the office together to head into one of the studios with a piano. Yuzuru made a firm point to shut the door in Jun's manager's face.

"Jun," Yuzuru asked as the younger sat in front of the piano, running his fingers over the keys, "have you ever been in love with someone that you can't be with?"

He sighed, playing a few notes from the start of his signature song, Boy with a Star. Yuzuru sat beside him on the piano stool just watching as the younger played through the song, humming the tune instead of singing it.

"What does it mean?" Yuzuru asked him, a little hesitant to break the gentle atmosphere.

"Across a long way, illuminating the dark night, stars resemble you shining brightly. With a glittering appearance inevitable to look at, the stars resemble us shining in sadness. That's what the chorus means roughly. So yes, to answer your question, I have been in love with someone I can't be with. Even if I wanted to be with them, I couldn't because I'm not allowed to date."

"But you can tell them through the music."

"Like they understand Korean," Jun mumbled and Yuzuru nudged his shoulder.

"That's the point. We do it in Japanese and Korean, with one part in English for them to understand."

Jun nodded and gave him a small smile as he got out his notebook too. "Lyrics first and then the music, or music then the lyrics?"

"Music."

Yuzuru mapped out some chords for them to follow and Jun improvised to them on the piano, keeping the melody light but sad. They adjusted it together, making little alterations that Jun noted down on the manuscript in his notebook, adding chord markers above the lines of handwritten music. Time seemed to fly by for the pair of them and, after a few hours of bouncing ideas off each other and ignoring the incessant knocking on the studio door from Jun's manager, had most of the melody and piano part down.

"Time for a break?" Yuzuru asked Jun with a smile and the youngster nodded, following him out of the studio and into the cafe. Once again, to Yuzuru's dismay, he only sipped at his water.

"Little birdie told me that you guys were working on something together," Jason slipped into the seat beside Yuzuru, setting his guitar down on the spare seat next to him. "Care to share?"

"Oh, just a little something for the Seven Stages of Grief," Yuzuru nodded to Jason's guitar with a raised eyebrow and a smile. "Play us something from your album?"

"Right now in the cafe?" Jason looked around. Being an exclusive facility, the only people in where the staff or the few artists who had signed with the studio.

"It's only us and that poor guy over there who looks like he'd rather be anywhere else," Yuzuru said with a shrug. "You don't have to if you don't want to."

Jason shrugged and carefully got his acoustic guitar out of the case. He adjusted the tuning of the strings for a moment before he put on the capo and started picking at the strings, playing light notes.

"Alright. This is track number six on CA-23 and it's called Let Her Go. I hope you guys enjoy it."

Jason, although often overlooked as a musician compared to other American artists, had a beautiful voice and, when performing a song that was as soulful as this, it really shone through. The pair sat transfixed as they watched Jason pour his emotions out through his guitar and song lyrics. He kept his eyes closed; perhaps it was out of fear that they would see the emotion in his eyes and realise who the song was truly written for, even though the pronouns were changed. The last few words were unaccompanied and, even in the poor acoustics of their cafeteria, they still carried for a few moments before they were replaced by deafening silence.

"Wow," Yuzuru was the first to break it with a word barely whispered, "that's a beautiful song, Jason."

"You think so? I was a little worried that it might be too... Emotional for the world."

"I think the singing world is emotional right now, and that's what we need." Jun pointed out. "Javi left. We all need time to process the change and, for us, music is the best way to do it. Besides, I'm sure your entire album isn't just emotional songs, is it?"

"Oh, God, no," Jason laughed. "I've written this one that's like an upbeat country thing. Very American."

"Just like you then." Jun teased as both he and Jason laughed.

"What kind of songs have you got written Jun? You had such an amazing blend of styles on The Beginning, especially when you compare ones like Juliette and Energetic with Boy with a Star, and She's in the Rain. Are you going for a blended style album again?"

"Kind of," Jun shrugged. "Almost all the songs are kind of sad this time around."

"How many have you recorded so far?"

"Only four. I'm meant to have six done by the end of the week but I don't think it'll happen. Maybe we'll move things around so that I can film some of the videos and do the album art instead."

"Which four have you recorded?"

"My Turn to Cry, Lonely, Ah Yeah, and Love in the Ice. Ah Yeah is more upbeat I promise, even if the lyrics are still a little sad."

"Oh I've got a song like that!" Yuzuru sat back and let the conversation flow between Jun and Jason. "It's called Go Your Own Way, and it's honestly one of my favourite songs from the album. What's your next album called anyway Jun?"

"Love Story. I named it!"

"And what about you, Yuzu? How many songs have you recorded from Seven Stages of Grief?"

"Two, but Jun and I have practically written one and will be writing another one together so soon we can record them together too. Tears, and Cassis have been recorded."

"Man, we really are depressing at the moment with our music," Jun burst out laughing. "Maybe I shouldn't wear pastel colours. They don't really fit the vibe."

"You should keep wearing your pastel colours Jun," the table looked up at Conrad slipped into the free seat beside the KPop star. "They really suit you. You look really cute in them."

Yuzuru and Jason exchanged a look when they could have sworn a blush ran across Jun's cheeks.

"How's your album going, Conrad? We were just discussing all of ours." Jason invited him into the conversation with the same warmth as a mug of hot chocolate on a winters day.

"Damn, I missed hearing about my favourite artist," Conrad joked, "but my album is going alright. I'm still not sure what to call it yet, but I've got two songs written. Kid in Love, and Mercy."

"Please tell me that you're not joining the depressing group," Jun gestured to the rest of them before his smile dipped and he stood from the table. "Sorry guys, got to go. Same time tomorrow, Yuzu?"

"Bye Jun," Yuzuru gave him a wave and inhaled sharply as he watched the youngster go. "Dear God is his management bitchy."

"What happened?" Jason asked. "If you don't mind saying, of course."

"My Korean is by no means perfect, but I'm pretty sure his manager said he's going to be working Sundays now. You know, rest day. He's going to be working them to make sure that he gets this album done in time."

* * *

Although he adored dancing, one of Jun's favourite things was taking the art for the album covers and promotional material. His hair was styled in a way to make it look completely natural, with little waves in the rippling black strands that stood out against the softness of the pastel pink hoodie they put him in and white jeans. Comfortable and casual, his stylists had done light makeup to bring out the best in him, and all the light colours contrasted the sleek black of the piano lid.

"You want me to what?" Jun asked as politely as he could manage.

"Lie on the piano on your side and, with your lower arm, play one of the keys." The director of the photo shoot repeated as the camera crew adjusted the green screen behind it.

"I'll dent the piano," Jun protested lightly. His manager rolled his eyes and stepped in front of him with his arms folded and glared at him.

"You wouldn't if you stuck to that diet we told you to and lost the 28 pounds, that wouldn't be a worry. We're already days behind schedule and that's why you're going to be working extra days until we get back to where we should be. Now get on the piano."

He lay on the piano, doing as he was told, and adjusted to fit each of the poses that the director instructed him to do. For hours, he kept his smile up and did what he was told until they declared he was done.

"Go to the gym," his manager instructed as Jun headed to go back towards the club to work on his songs. "You need to."

* * *

While Yuzuru worked on his album with only Keiji and Ghislain daring to interrupt him to either take him home or record it for him, Jason got ready to film the music video for Dancing on My Own. He'd gone out with Tracy and Shoma accompanying him, as his manager and stylist, and they congregated at the night club filled with extras that Jason had requested. In the back stage part, mirrors had been set up for him as a makeshift dressing room. Shoma handed him the outfit that had been selected: casual pale blue jeans, a light blue shirt, and a red and black plaid shirt over the top. His curls were pushed out of his eyes and he prayed that Shoma didn't notice the blush that spread across his nose and cheeks as the other applied his makeup for him. It was subtle but enough to bring out Jason's eyes more, making them sparkle in the low light of the club setting. Shoma lingered beside Tracy, watching as the story of the music video unfolded and they recorded Jason singing about being left and replaced by her, whoever she was.

_I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her._ Shoma's heart fluttered when Jason happened to face him, singing the words as they would then cut out the audio and overlay the song to make it fit.

_I'm right over here. Why can't you see me? I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the guy you're taking home. I keep dancing on my own._

Shoma's heart hurt and he forced himself to look away, earning a look full of concern from Tracy. She reached out and gave him a silent comforting pat on the shoulder. Every word Jason sang went straight to Shoma's heart.

"It's a beautiful song," Shoma said to him when he managed to plaster a smile on his face for his friend at the end of the recording.

"I'm glad you like it," Jason said, avoiding Shoma's eyes and looking instead over at one of the walls that suddenly became the most interesting thing that he'd ever seen.

"Is it written about someone?" Shoma dared to ask. Jason nodded in response and his heart sunk

_You don't see me standing here_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Let Her Go](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBumgq5yVrA)   
>  [Juliette](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwkP3qfwqs8)   
>  [Energetic](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVaV7AwqBWg)   
>  [Boy with a Star](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQWBGD0YP5A)   
>  [She's in the Rain](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjbftHj6XYU)   
>  [My Turn To Cry](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVflAAdcUqQ)   
>  [Lonely](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huJzM51IwXc)   
>  [Ah Yeah](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pm0_G8Zl0ek)   
>  [Love In The Ice](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vspM47RersU)   
>  [Go Your Own Way](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ul-cZyuYq4)   
>  [Tears](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tTNybXzqb-g)   
>  [Cassis](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37dGDZ0hlB4)   
>  [Kid in Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiEz1GleIbs)   
>  [Mercy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkGVmN68ByU)   
>  [Dancing on my Own](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q31tGyBJhRY)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keiji's job was pretty simple: live with Yuzuru, make sure he wore clothes instead of Winnie the Pooh pyjamas when he was in public, make sure he ate properly, and generally take care of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I hope you've all been doing well and staying safe. Welcome to the next chapter of whatever this story is becoming lololol. There are wayyyyy too many songs that are linked down at the bottom so I absolutely admire anyone who wants to listen to them all. I don't really know what else to say though so thank you so much for reading this and I hope you all enjoy it!!!

Keiji's job was pretty simple: live with Yuzuru, make sure he wore clothes instead of Winnie the Pooh pyjamas when he was in public, make sure he ate properly, and generally take care of him. He acted as his makeup artist for photo shoots and his designer for both his clothes and his album art. He ran an Instagram account that featured scenic pictures and hosted the little videos of Yuzuru diving into piles of pooh bears after concerts. The comment sections on every photo, from a sunrise to the Canadian winter snow, were filled with questions from hungry Yuzuru fans. He drove him to and from the studio for months at a time, picking up ice cream on the way home for the singer whenever he wanted, and Yuzuru would open up a little, occasionally showing him the music he was working on. Yuzuru got the nine songs of his own recorded and the two with Jun done before he approached Keiji at home, shuffling around the house with a mug of tea in his hand.

"So, the music has all been recorded," Yuzuru explained to him as he watched Keiji wash the rice before he put it into the rice cooker for them, "so we'll be recording the videos soon. Whenever you're ready, and when we've given Jun's manager notice."

"Sure," Keiji dug around for his notebook that he'd tucked underneath their sofa after he'd been working on sketches earlier. He flicked through the pages and showed Yuzuru the art he'd sketched out for an album, "what do you think of this? I tried to channel grief."

Yuzuru took the book from him, letting Keiji turn back to their meal, and he traced the sketch. Being given only the one word to go from, Keiji knew Yuzuru well enough to understand what he wanted for his album art. Keiji had coloured in part of it with black and red, leaving the rest of it white. He'd drawn Yuzuru holding his electric guitar close to his chest and leaning forward over it. His hair had fallen in front of his face and behind him, on the red wall, the album title was written in black.

"It's amazing," Yuzuru gave Keiji a smile, "it's incredible. Thank you. Thank you so much Keiji!"

"I'll note it down as a photograph that we need to take when we're on set," Keiji served him up some takikomi gohan alongside some grilled fish before he slipped into the other seat at the table beside him. "Photographs for the album and promotional material, and then the music videos. Did you see Jason's videos for the songs on his album?"

"I did," Yuzuru smiled but it fell off when he looked back down at the meal, pushing it around his bowl. "I liked Dancing on My Own. And he looked like he had a lot of fun with Cotton Eyed Joe. Which was your favourite?"

"I liked Go Your Own Way," Keiji leaned back in his seat as he ate, watching Yuzuru carefully, "cause Jason looked like he was having fun with it. I wonder why he wrote such an upbeat song with such sad lyrics though. Is something going on with him?"

"Not that I know of," Yuzuru chewed his lip and stood up, leaving Keiji alone with his thoughts and the soft sounds of Yuzuru's guitar. The designer sighed, boxing up Yuzuru's barely touched meal into Tupperware boxes and putting it into the fridge in the hope that he'd have more later.

Yuzuru stayed up late into the night, just playing his guitar as he sat in his bed and looked through the gap in the curtains, eyes lighting up with the light of the stars.

* * *

Bright and early, Jun was already at the shoot when Keiji and Yuzuru arrived. He gave a little wave to the pair of them as his eyes were being framed with black winged eyeliner and a gentle gradient from white to dark brown eye shadow. As Keiji started doing Yuzuru's makeup beside him, using bolder lines but keeping the colours similar to Jun's, the director of the shoot came over with a clipboard in hand.

"Morning Mr Hanyu. For the shoot, everything is going to be gentle and in a home. Bit different to your normal ones, no?"

Yuzuru laughed lightly that had nothing behind it before he sipped at his green tea. "I can do gentle. Any live playing?"

"Jun Hwan will be playing the piano for a little bit of it, but we'll put the music over the top. All of it will be synchronised with what you've recorded, so just make sure you pretend you're singing and we'll make sure it looks good."

Yuzuru nodded, eyes flicking over to Jun. The pair of them had been given clothes fitting the soft aesthetic of the gentle piano music; Yuzuru had a soft red jumper where Jun had a soft white one, and both had black jeans for the fangirls. Jun's soft curls had been given a little extra volume to make them extra bouncy, and Yuzuru couldn't help but smirk at the dirty look they were throwing him.

"Mr Hanyu, would you mind removing--"

"The earrings stay," Yuzuru said indignantly, "as does the nail varnish. And the tongue piercing."

"Can you at least put some makeup over that eyebrow slit please?"

"No," Yuzuru's tone was firm and he stretched out his legs with a deep frown, "and these are too tight."

"That's the point." The director walked off, silently demanding that the other two follow him into the main room. A black Yamaha grand piano sat there and Jun sat in front of it, giving the instrument a secret smile. "First, Mr Hanyu, sit up here please. We'll have shots of Jun Hwan playing and then we'll cut to you singing. Jun Hwan, you can actually play the piano and we'll just cut out the sound."

When they'd finished arranging the pair, the director stepped out of the view of the camera and nodded.

"Okay! Action!"

* * *

"God, it was dreadful," Yuzuru sipped at his yuzu and lemon drink, leaning back in his seat with Keiji, Jason, and Shoma sitting beside him around the table, "Seriously, who works for six hours straight without a break and then complains that we shouldn't take breaks because we're behind schedule? We're not machines!"

"What asses," Jason agreed, and Shoma nodded in silent agreement, "but did you get it all done?"

"Thankfully," Yuzuru rolled his eyes and sighed. "Worst three days of my life, and I've spent weeks in hospital."

Shoma half laughed at that before he checked the clock on the wall and nudged Jason with his shoulder. "Meeting with Tracy."

"Thanks Sho." Jason gave him a bright smile. "See you guys around!"

As Jason left, Yuzuru raised an eyebrow at Shoma and sipped at his juice.

"So. You two are—"

"I wish," Shoma mumbled, "but have you seen him? He's a super talented artist about to release a new album, and I'm a sleepy mess who does his makeup and helps him choose what to wear in his music videos."

"I take that as an insult thanks, given that we basically do the same job," Keiji said with a dramatic pout as he sipped at his tea.

"You know what I mean," Shoma said, rolling his eyes. "Yuzuru doesn't function nearly as well as Jason does." Yuzuru made an indignant squeaking noise and the other two just gave him a look. "And you're not in love with Yuzuru."

"True. I've got a beautiful photographer and journalist who has my heart." Keiji smiled with a dopey in love look that the other two found incredibly endearing. "So. How do we get you two together?"

"You don't," Shoma was firm in his response. "You just sit back and let me come over when I need to cry and have ice cream and comfort."

"Oh Sho," Yuzuru reached across the table for his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, "he'll see. He'll see eventually."

"Thanks," Shoma gave them a very weak smile before he left, heading out of the club with tears burning in his eyes.

"So," Keiji broke their silence with an attempt at a lighter tone, "you've got a meeting with Brian later this afternoon to finalise everything for your album to be released and sort out your tour dates. Any ideas about where you want to go?"

Yuzuru nodded, sipping his juice as he thought. "Maybe Canada, the US, Brazil, the UK, France, Spain," his cheeks turned pink, much to his irritation and he cleared his throat, "Germany, Russia, South Korea, Japan... Maybe China... Anywhere else?"

"You should discuss that with Brian, not me. He's more knowledgeable about this sort of thing." Keiji raised an eyebrow at Yuzuru, half smirking. "So, Spain, huh?"

"Don't tease. Barcelona and Madrid."

"Madrid—"

"Don't tease!"

"I'm sure he'd be happy to see you," Keiji patted him on the arm to comfort him, but Yuzuru's shoulders sagged.

"He probably won't come."

"Why wouldn't he?"

"Well, why would he?" Yuzuru's tone had a finality in it that Keiji didn't bother trying to argue with. "Come on."

Brian's office was warm and cosy. Pictures of Brian and his husband adorned the walls between his old guitars and pictures of his album covers. Pictures of Brian on tour with Javier and Yuzuru from years back sat on the desk beside paperwork. A keyboard sat in the corner and a sofa was on the opposite side of the room to the desk. Yuzuru and Keiji occupied the free seats at the desk and Brian gave the artist a smile.

"So, your album and poster art looks good. You've got the songs and music videos recorded. I say we plan out a music video release schedule for after the album release and then, once the last video is released, then announce your tour dates and locations. Sound good?"

Yuzuru nodded and gave Brian a little smile. "Gives them a chance to get merchandise ready for the tour, and gives me time to negotiate with Jun about joining me. How's his album coming along?"

"Oh, the album is done, and they're getting ready to release music videos now. He probably won't join you for all the places, but maybe some of the ones in Asia? Speaking of," Brian's tone turned much more serious and his eyes were full of paternal concern, "do you know where you want to go? Do you think you might want to try Shanghai again?"

Yuzuru chewed his lip and rubbed the back of his neck. "I think it's time I tried again. I mean, it's been four years since I did a concert in China at all, and I feel bad for the Chinese fans."

"Only do it if you think you can," Brian dug around in his drawer and pulled a laminated map out for them to draw on. "So, where are you thinking we should start?"

"Start here in Toronto," Yuzuru circled the city on the map, "do a concert here. Then Winnipeg. For Pooh-san, of course." He smirked and Brian fondly rolled his eyes. "Then Calgary and Vancouver. Is that enough for Canada?"

"You've covered a good amount there," Brian nodded and they worked across the United States and down to Brazil, Argentina, Chile, and Peru, circling the cities. They worked for a while, with Keiji occasionally chipping in with suggestions, until their little bubble of productivity was popped by knocks on the doors.

"Sorry to disturb you," Tracy poked her head in and passed Brian a mug of coffee, Yuzuru a mug of green tea, and Keiji a mug of black tea, "but Jun's album is about to be released. It's going live in five minutes so that it drops in the morning in Seoul."

"We'll be right out," Brian said with a smile as he put the map back into his desk drawer. "We'll discuss this more tomorrow, okay? And then we'll come up with a list of venues ready to announce after your album drops in two weeks."

Yuzuru nodded, and he and Keiji joined Jason, Conrad, Evgenia, and Jun on the sofa. Conrad had his arm around Jun's shoulder, whispering to the other that everything would be fine. Nerves still built inside the youngster as he watched the countdown his management had set up for him on his website, showing the time slipping away like the sand in an hourglass. He hardly dared to breathe as it reached zero and his album went live along with the singles for download.

"Did you just buy my album?" Jun asked Conrad, shaking his head lightly in disbelief.

"Hey, you're my favourite artist!" Conrad defended. "You're lucky I haven't started refreshing it to see if the tour dates are updated."

Jun rolled his eyes but gave the other a hug, letting the relief flood his system. For a little while now, he didn't have to balance everything else with learning the choreography. He could prepare for his tour with nothing else to worry about. Unconsciously rubbing a hand over his stomach, he grimaced.

Well, almost nothing else.

_@Jun_July_August_

_Album has just dropped! Here is Love Story! Keep your eyes open for music videos, and tour dates will be dropped in 11 days’ time!_

_ Love Story _

_Ah Yeah_

_Dorothy_

_Crooked_

_What's Going On_

_Without You_

_You, Clouds, Rain_

_Lonely_

_My Turn to Cry_

_무제_ _(Untitled)_

_Love Song_

_Love in The Ice_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Dancing on my Own](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q31tGyBJhRY)  
> [Cotton Eyed Joe](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOYZaiDZ7BM) (plus [Jason's skate to it](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_Cb6HEoA5Q))  
> [Go Your Own Way](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozl3L9fhKtE)  
> [Ah Yeah](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pm0_G8Zl0ek)  
> [Dorothy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVB86WJKoTE)  
> [Crooked](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKhsHGfrFmY)  
> [What's Going On](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqxHy4G9FMI)  
> [Without you](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6OcvS54KYQ)  
> [You, Clouds, Rain](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afxLaQiLu-o)  
> [ Lonely](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdR7L-NRQSw)  
> [My Turn To Cry](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVflAAdcUqQ)  
> [무제 (Untitled)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kaCAbIXuyg)  
> [Love Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xHfAjfIdYo)  
> [Love In The Ice](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vspM47RersU)
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who helped me pick out the music, especially the KPop songs!!!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Are you sure that you can do all these dates, Jun?" Brian looked up at him over the top of the list he'd been given by Jun's Korean manager. "That's a hell of a lot of performing, and your set is very intense for each show. September to December as your first big tour for these two albums? Are you sure?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I hope you've had a good week. Welcome to the next chapter. I'm really sorry that this story gets kind of sadder and the tags really do matter in this chapter. Thank you all so much for reading because I really really appreciate it. I hope you enjoy this xxx

"Are you sure that you can do all these dates, Jun?" Brian looked up at him over the top of the list he'd been given by Jun's Korean manager. "That's a hell of a lot of performing, and your set is very intense for each show. September to December as your first big tour for these two albums? Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," Jun said with confidence, "because then I can join Yuzuru's concert at Lotte World in December without interrupting his tour too much, and ours dates should be slightly offset."

"Ten dates in the United States alone?" Brian raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm not going to take offense at the fact there are none in Canada—"

"I tried to get one for Toronto but they said no."

"Then four dates in South America? Eleven in Europe, and seventeen in Asia? Why on earth are you doing six dates in Seoul back to back?"

"For the people of Seoul," Jun shrugged, "and because they told me too. And because it means performing in the Olympic Stadium and I can't turn it down! You know how big that is and how much that means to me."

"I just don't want you to work yourself into the ground," Brian set down the list of tour dates. "Jun, I'm serious. Your health is important and your managers haven't even split these into different legs of the tour?"

"It is split into legs! The American leg is from September to October, the European leg is from October to November, and then the Asian leg is from November to December with talk about going to Oceania soon as well."

"There's a week rest between each leg." Brian pointed out.

"They said that it was better to have it all as close to each other as possible. It'll keep interest up and will mean that people don't get bored or forget about my tour if it's constantly going on, you know?" Jun's naivety and trusting nature shone through. "My managers said that it was better if we do it this way, you know? And they even wrote the dates specifically so that I could perform with Yuzuru in Seoul on his birthday at Lotte World. Lotte World Brian!"

"Jun. People who love your music would be willing to wait. Not everything has to come out immediately and go at such a fast pace."

The singer nodded but his heart wasn't in it. Brian sighed and handed him the list of tour dates.

"I seriously think you should cut down on the number of days, or put in more rest days between them, but it's not the worst tour I've ever seen."

Jun gave him a little smile, standing up and giving Brian a quick bow before the other could change his mind or go back on his word.

"Thank you Brian! Do you mind if I use one of the dance studios from now until the tour starts?"

"If I say no, your other manager will get angry with me," Brian rolled his eyes and gave Jun a pat on the shoulder. "Of course you can. And Jun?"

The youngster paused in the doorway, meeting Brian's eyes through his thick-rimmed glasses.

"If there's something going on, you know you can always talk to me, okay? My door is always open for you if you need it."

Jun gave him a small smile that didn't come close to his eyes and nodded.

"Thanks Brian. See you tomorrow."

* * *

Two weeks lay between the release of Jun's album and the release of Yuzuru's album. For eleven of the days, Jun's management released his music videos one by one, following the order of the tracks on the album so that he could end with Love in The Ice. Once all of Jun's music videos had been released, a short video was released on Keiji's instagram story. It started as a closeup of closed eyes, framed with eyeliner and with a dark fringe falling over them, before they opened up and "3 days" came up, lingering briefly before vanishing like smoke into the darkness. Nothing else needed to be said; both the KPop side of twitter and the JRock side of twitter were blowing up with Jun's tour dates that had been released and the promise of _something_ to come from Yuzuru. For the fans, nothing could be better.

Behind the scenes was another story. Keiji felt like a helpless omniscient being; all he could do was watch Yuzuru's heart break over and over again while the artist tore himself apart mentally. Meals became leftovers, and leftovers never got eaten.

"Yuzu—"

"I'm going to bed," Yuzuru's voice was quiet, lacking the kind of aggression and conviction that came out during his more intense music.

"It's seven."

"Tired."

"Yuzu," Keiji took hold of his wrist as gently as he could but holding it tightly enough to stop Yuzuru from running off, "Please. You're worrying me. If there's something I can do to help you--"

"There's nothing anyone can do."

"Then help me to help you."

Yuzuru gave him a weak smile, full of sadness and void of happiness, and gave Keiji a tight hug. Saying nothing, Keiji stroked Yuzuru's hair and just held the other close to him. In their silence, Yuzuru soon fell asleep in Keiji's arms, and his friend scooped him up into his arms.

"Oh Yuzu-pon," Keiji tucked him into bed and tucked the Kaneki pooh bear next to him, "what's going on in your head and your heart?"

Keiji left and shut the door to Yuzuru's room before he dared to check his phone. Since posting the Instagram story, media accounts and very bold fans had sent him a plethora of messages, spamming him for hours on end. Most demanded a statement, with some fans confessing their undying love for both him and Yuzuru. He ignored the notifications on his phone and instead settled on the sofa, holding a cushion to his stomach, as his phone rang out.

"Hello?" A sleepy Japanese voice came through the other end, and Keiji couldn't help but smile.

"Morning Ryuju. How are you still sleepy at eight in the morning? Aren't you meant to be working?"

"Mm, not yet. My first job today doesn't start until mid-afternoon. Unlike when I'm working with you two, most of the time I get to wake up late."

"Lucky," Keiji said with half a laugh before he went quiet, leaving a silence between them that stretched further than the distance between Toronto and Tokyo.

"Keiji? Is everything alright?"

"I miss you," Keiji said softly, "so much."

"I miss you too," Ryuju's tone held a smile in it; the same smile that always made Keiji smile too, no matter how bad a mood he was in, "but I'll be seeing you guys soon, right? You know which photographer and reporter got selected to head to Toronto and interview Yuzuru, don't you?"

"Couldn't have been you, could it?" Keiji half laughed down the phone. "Do you want to stay with us?"

"Do you guys mind?"

"Not at all. Yuzuru has barely been out of his room; I doubt he'd really notice you to be honest. Not to be rude. You know what I mean, right?"

"One of those times again?" Ryuju's words were soft sympathetic, as gentle as was expected for the unofficial 'mother' of their trio. "Poor thing."

"It's much worse. If he would talk to me, I'd tell him to go to a professional about it. But he's so focused on this tour coming up and he'd throwing all he has into it. Including his mental health and strength as well as his physical strength and health."

"Poor Yuzu," Ryuju repeated and sighed. "I'll bring him something nice from Japan to try and make him feel better."

"Thanks Ryuju. And I'll make you something tasty when you come over. Maybe ramen bowls?"

"You're the best. Thanks for calling Keiji. See you soon, yeah?"

"Yeah. See you."

He could hear the smile in Keiji's voice and it gave him a little bubble of happiness. "See you."

When Ryuju hung up, Keiji listened to the empty tone for a moment, enjoying the chance to collect his thoughts before they turned to how to help Yuzuru out to give him the support he deserved.

* * *

Tracy Wilson was a mother, but none of her children were the artists at the club. Still, she couldn't help but feel an overwhelming surge of maternal care and love when she stepped into the dance studio. After helping Jason in one of the recording studios practice, she'd come to the dance studio to give Jun a hand. In the corner, she found him curled up with a jacket acting as his blanket. With a very sad smile down to him, she sat beside him and shook his shoulder very gently to stir him.

"Jun?"

"Tracy?" he mumbled, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes before he gasped and sat up. "Tracy? How long was I asleep for? Oh God, oh God—"

"Shh," she helped Jun into a sitting position and gave him a hug, "it's alright. If you fell asleep, you must really have needed to the sleep. Your body needs to rest, Jun, and I don't think you've been getting that recently."

Jun grimaced but leaned his head on her shoulder. She offered him his bottle of water and fixed him with a firm look when he started playing with the top instead of unscrewing it.

"Jun, what have they told you?"

The singer looked down at the floor so that he didn't have to meet her eyes, and took tentative sips of his water to delay the answer. Tracy didn't say anything to push him to answer; she provided him a comforting shoulder to lean on and against as long as he needed. When she felt him nodding off against her, she couldn't help but smile a little. He shook himself back awake, screwing the lid tightly onto the bottle, before he managed to form an answer for her.

"They told me my tour dates, and my dances," Jun said with a tired and timid voice. "They told me my plans from now until September when I go on tour, and then from September through to December when the tour ends."

"Jun," her voice was soft and gentle still as she tried to keep soothing him with her kind words, "you know what I mean. What have they told you about this?" She gestured to his water bottle, earning a cringe from the youngster.

"Nothing I didn't already know," Jun's words hurt her internally and she blinked at him for a good few seconds.

"Jun, I know you know what I'm going to say, but I have to say it anyway. This isn't healthy." He opened his mouth to respond but she held up a hand to cut him off. "It's not, Jun. You were already below a healthy weight to start with, and they're encouraging you to lose more, aren't they?"

"I wasn't below a healthy weight to start with," Jun protested. "They were right that I should lose something. I mean—"

"Jun." Tracy took his free hand and squeezed it gently, "I'm worried about you. I want to help you. I want you to be able to look in the mirror and see the beautiful, strong, amazing young man that we all see, not the toxic imperfect image these people have put onto you to make you feel this way about yourself. And if there was a way for me to click my fingers or wave my magic wand to help you, then I would, with no hesitation. So Jun," she pushed a granola bar into his hand and patted it closed, holding a silent pleading in her eyes, "have this, take a break and go and sit with Conrad and Jason in the cafeteria, and then you can come back in after a lunch break and work on your dances to the best of your ability, okay?"

"Okay," Jun managed a very little smile to her that, to Tracy, was worth a million smiles. "I'll, um, go sit with Conrad and Jason?"

Tracy left to return to her office and Jun finished off his bottle of water before he looked at the bar in his hands. It taunted him and his mind swirled with numbers for calories and micro-nutrients. With guilt gnawing at his stomach, the bar ended up in the bottom of his bag alongside the ones Conrad had slipped there over the weeks before he headed into the cafeteria. He could feel the weight of the stares on him as he ignored the food on sale in favour of filling up his water bottle, and he secured his mask of a smile in place before he slipped into the seat next to Conrad. Most of the conversation flew over his head while he was stuck in his own mind, and it took Conrad shaking his shoulder to get him out of his daydream.

"You okay?" Conrad asked softly as Jun searched the room like a frightened deer. "It's okay. It's only us here. I won't tell anyone if you say anything. Not that you have to say anything if you don't want to. I just want to check you're alright, you know?"

The building pressure of everything in Jun's life hit its peak and the dam broke. It started with one tear running down his cheek, then two, three, and soon he couldn't stop. Conrad pulled him into his arms, stroking Jun's hair as he hid his face in his shoulder.

"What's going on?" Conrad's voice was like a gentle grounding rock in Jun's storm of emotions. "Is there anything I can do to help you?"

"Hold me," Jun whispered. "Please, just hold me and don't let go. For a little while."

Conrad nodded, rocking him lightly in his arms as he hummed very softly. His soothing tones helped Jun to relax and, even as everything else in his life felt wrong, being held by Conrad, being protected in Conrad's arms, felt right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Although these songs aren't in the chapter, I felt the need to include them here. This is Yuzuru's album and the order of songs in it. I might end up repeating this in another chapter (sorry if I do!!!)  
> [Ichiban No Takaramono](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCDG54Vpe_Y)  
> [Kuroi Namida](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgwaVwxuqDc)  
> [Nakigahara](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBHfivAY9tY)  
> [Heartache](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ivo6e0mOtns)  
> [At Gwanghwamun](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUbq_IXBaYg)  
> [One more time, one more chance](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kEfzl77qTT0)  
> [Pledge](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3khQd1dnaP0)  
> An Original song called Home that I will not be recording but it's a collaboration between Yuzuru and Jun  
> [Last Heaven](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tq9YLNBHIzY)  
> [Tears](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tTNybXzqb-g)  
> [Cassis](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37dGDZ0hlB4)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All Yuzuru's concert dates were sold out, and, at the start of September, he did his few dates in Canada before he moved down to the United States. Keiji travelled with him and the one photographer he allowed as part of his staff joined them too. To all except Keiji and Ryuju, Yuzuru seemed his normal intense self, throwing everything he had into the music and the performances for his North American fans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I hope you're all doing well and staying safe and healthy. Welcome to the next chapter of this fic. I'm so sorry about this, okay? Pleaseeeeeee be aware that it is NOT a happy chapter. Okay? Okay. Good. Thank you so much for reading this as always and I hope you like it!

All Yuzuru's concert dates were sold out, and, at the start of September, he did his few dates in Canada before he moved down to the United States. Keiji travelled with him and the one photographer he allowed as part of his staff joined them too. To all except Keiji and Ryuju, Yuzuru seemed his normal intense self, throwing everything he had into the music and the performances for his North American fans.

"Yuzu?" Keiji asked him gently as they sat in the singer's hotel room after the performance in Los Angeles. "I know you've got these tour dates, but are you sure you--"

"I'm fine Keiji," Yuzuru plastered a smile on as Ryuju slipped into the hotel room carrying boxes of takeout pizza, "thanks for picking them up, Ryuju. I'm so glad we've got a bit more time to breathe now before we do the two dates in South America and then head across to Europe."

"I'm just glad I was assigned to go with you on tour as your official photographer for our magazine."

Yuzuru lightly elbowed Ryuju as the other sat down beside him on the bed, passing out the boxes to the other two.

"You know I wouldn't have any other photographer. You're my friend and the only one I want with me on tour."

The couple ended up squishing Yuzuru between them in a comfortable sandwich, and Yuzuru ended up leaning his head on Keiji's shoulder while Ryuju leaned his on Yuzuru's. Outside, in the early hours of the morning, the cars of California didn't sleep or stop but instead provided nice background noise that held enough energy to keep Yuzuru awake enough to eat something in his post-performance lethargy. His guitar had safely been packed up and was sitting safely in the corner of the room. His gold suitcase full of music and show related things and his purple suitcase full of clothes for both on tour and casual use were tucked in the corner too. Sitting on his bed were the two pooh bears he'd selected from the Los Angeles show. Keiji had uploaded the video of Yuzuru thanking his fans and then diving into the pile of pooh bears onto his Instagram story, and the other pooh bears had been bundled up into bags for him to drop off at the nearest children's hospital the next morning before they travelled on down to Brazil ready for the show in Rio and the one a few days after in Buenos Aires in Argentina. Few other Japanese artists took their tours down to South America, but Yuzuru had received fan messages from across the world that he wanted to give the opportunity to see him live. Since he planned his own tours, with Brian helping him, instead of having someone else plan them for him, he wrote in breaks between performances that he knew his body would need. Brian and Ghislain had written in dates that they would meet up with him on so that they could check everything was alright and help him make any changes that he needed to. As they always reminded him, they were only one call away should he need them.

"So, after these stops in South America," Yuzuru tuned back into the conversation as he thoughtfully chewed on his pizza as Keiji went through the list of tour dates, "you're jumping across to Europe for a date in the UK, one in France, two in Spain," both he and Ryuju took that opportunity to wiggle their eyebrows at him and tease him, "one in Italy, one in Germany, one in Poland, and one in Croatia before you head off to Asia. Does that sound about right?"

"And there should be a few days of break in between Spain and Italy," Yuzuru said, trying to be as casual as he could about it, "you know. So I can rest in between performances. And because I don't have that many Spanish fans."

"You have two sold out shows in Spain," Ryuju pointed out as he stole one of Keiji's bread sticks, "so I don't think you can say you don't have that many Spanish fans."

"You know what I mean," Yuzuru huffed before he shoved in a slice of pizza and chewed like an angry cat. "I'm less likely to get mobbed by fangirls in Spain."

"And you can spend a few days enjoying Madrid and Barcelona!" Ryuju asked with a kind smile. "But I see that your Madrid date is after the Barcelona date so you have a large break between Madrid and Turin. So are you going to take several days off in Madrid or are you going to spread your days off across different cities?"

Keiji wiggled his eyebrows at Yuzuru and the singer hid his face in his shoulder, blushing from embarrassment.

"All in Madrid, huh?" Keiji teased and Yuzuru whined, covering his face with his hands. "Right, Yuzu? Maybe a certain someone will hang out with you and spend the time with you. Show you around his home city so that you can enjoy yourself more with him and see the sights that not everyone will see, and--"

"I haven't asked Javi to hang out. I doubt he even knows that the tour is happening and I doubt he'd come even if he did. We're not like that. We don't have that kind of relationship."

"You wrote songs together! What do you mean you don't have that kind of relationship? Who writes songs together when you don't have feelings for each other?"

"I've written songs with Jun too," Yuzuru pointed out.

"But he's like your son. You care about him just not in a romantic way. But you care about Javi in a romantic way, don't you?"

Yuzuru shrugged, pulling his knees up to his chest as Keiji moved the pizza box away from him.

"It doesn't matter," Yuzuru whispered into his knees as Ryuju wrapped his arms around him and gave him a gentle squeeze, "because he'll never see me that way, so what's the point in trying it?"

* * *

Yuzuru's shows in Barcelona and Madrid were the best received in the first half of his tour, and he even did a few extra songs during his encore that the didn't do around the rest of the world. During his days in Madrid, everywhere he looked he saw soft brown curls and light stubble. He couldn't help but see Javi not only in the people but in every piece of the city. It all just screamed Javier, and Yuzuru could barely swallow due to the lump in his throat. Leaving for Italy was almost a relief and, the further he got from Spain, the more relaxed but upset he began to feel.

_Javi: Hi Yuzu! So sorry I didn't get a chance to see you while you were in Spain. Next time I'll show you around. Hope the concerts went well_

Yuzuru looked at the message several times before he tossed his phone across his hotel room in Croatia and curled up under the duvet, cuddling a bee pooh bear that a Spanish fan had given him in Madrid as he tried not to think about Javier.

By his birthday, he'd managed to squish down his feelings into a tiny little ball that sat in the pit of his stomach. He could ignore it for the concerts but, in his hotel room late at night afterwards, his feelings came back in full force. He pushed it down as he went through his final soundcheck for the performance at Lotte World when the doors opened up and Jun's entourage came in. Yuzuru finished up his song before he all but jumped down from the stage to give the youngster a hug.

"Jun! How is your tour going so far? You having fun? Have you been resting enough?"

He ignored the glares from Jun's managers that he got over his shoulder as the younger hid his face in Yuzuru's shoulder, relishing in the warmth and comfort of the cuddles. When they parted, Yuzuru finished up his soundcheck and solo songs before he helped get Jun's piano on the stage, ready to rehearse their two songs together. Jun's mind was all over the place and it took him several attempts to get the chords right at the start.

"Focus!" His manager snapped at him. "You're so nearly done with your tour; you can't lose focus now! And it's Lotte World! It's one of the most important performances of your life so far."

Only Yuzuru was close enough to see the tears that those words elicited from Jun. He sat beside the stage, watching as Jun walked through his dances with his backup dancers. When the two of them were left alone on the stage, Yuzuru looped his arm around Jun's waist.

"How was Japan? Did you have fun with your performances there?"

"They were good," Jun's eyes held so much exhaustion and, beneath Yuzuru's hands, he felt much slimmer than he had been when they'd left the club to go on their tours. "How were your dates?"

"Good," Yuzuru mumbled, mind spinning as he let go of Jun. "Um... See you tomorrow? Make sure you get lots of rest for the show."

"You too!"

* * *

"Hello Korea!" Yuzuru waved to the adoring crowd at Lotte World before he repeated the greeting in Korean, earning giggles and a scream of happiness in response. "How is everyone? Thank you so much for all coming to the show and thank you for being a part of the tour! You make me all so happy, so this first one is for you!"

The crowd, having been exposed to Yuzuru's album of grief the longest, all screamed with excitement as they heard him play the start of Ichiban No Takaramono. Yuzuru mostly stuck to the order of his songs on the album as he performed Kuroi Namida next, then Nakigahara. During Heartache, the audience joined in with most of the English lyrics and they waved their phone lights along to the music. One More Time, One More Chance came next, then Pledge, Last Heaven, and Tears. He left Cassis so that he could finish the concert with it, and he paused and smiled at the audience.

"I'd like to invite someone very special to join me now, and I know you've all been waiting for him too. Since he helped me out with some of my songs, I need him to join me. Would you please put your hands together and welcome to the stage: Cha Jun Hwan!"

The crowd went absolutely wild as Jun stepped out in a black tour shirt of Yuzuru's that hung off him, and black jeans that clung to him. He waved to the crowd, eyes crinkling and brightening as he joined Yuzuru's side on the stage.

"Hello everyone! Thank you so much Yuzuru for having me!" the artists bowed to each other and Jun took over the talking. "I think there's a little song we all need to sing to Yuzuru first, though, don't you?"

The audience screamed in agreement and Jun grinned.

"One, two, three!" he counted them in before he and the audience started to sing, making Yuzuru blush bright red beneath his foundation. "Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Yuzu." He made them pause for ages to draw it out. "Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday Yuzu!"

"Thank you everyone!" Yuzuru bowed to the audience repeatedly before he patted Jun on the shoulder and have him a gentle cuddle. "And now, Jun is going to perform some of the songs from his album for you."

Jun took to the stage and Ah Yeah started to play for him. His head was spinning but he forced himself to dance like he had practiced over and over again for hours at a time in the studio. His back up dancers joined him and he relied more and more on muscle memory as the lights of the audience grew fuzzier and fuzzier.

He didn't remember stumbling over, ending up crumpled on the ground. He didn't remember the back up dancers helping him up so that he could finish the song. He didn't remember being all but pushed onto the piano stool so that he could play for a couple more of his songs. His mind finally came back to him when Yuzuru joined him on stage again for their collaboration songs and the older gave him a look of concern.

_You okay?_ he mouthed while his back to the audience, and Jun gave him a smile while his mind raced to piece together what had happened. He must have fainted. Again. In Seoul. Midway through a dance. He was never going to hear the end of this. He shook his head before he started to play the opening notes of At Gwanghwamun, relaxing into the music. When he and Yuzuru sang together, he felt like he was back in the comforting recording studio in Toronto instead of facing huge crowds. His mind went to a different place where he was just wrapped up in the comforting blanket of their music.

He got so invested in it that it took him a moment to realise just what was happening. A pair of arms had wrapped their way around his waist and he stumbled as he was pulled off the stage by someone he didn't recognise. They looked similar to the security, so Jun started to follow them in bewilderment, but he then realised that Yuzuru had stopped singing and was looking between the man and Jun.

“Come on,” the man whispered to Jun, pulling him off the stage to encourage him to walk faster, “we need to get out of here.”

"What's going on?" Yuzuru asked, voice amplified by the microphone as it sent whispers through the crowd. Jun stumbled as he was pulled off stage faster, and one of the other security guards stepped in.

The man who had tried to pull him off stage ran for it when a legitimate security guard showed up, and Jun blinked in shock for a moment before he fainted for the second time that night.

"I'm so sorry," Yuzuru turned to the crowd and gave them a pained smile, "everyone will get a partial refund. Something has happened and we don't think it's safe to keep going with the concert. Thank you so much for coming and I'm sorry it's ended like this."

The stage went dark as Yuzuru all but ran off it after Jun and the security, guitar slung across his back as Keiji came and met him by the stage door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Ichiban No Takaramono](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCDG54Vpe_Y)  
> [Kuroi Namida](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgwaVwxuqDc)  
> [Nakigahara](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Dtpb5Kqbf4)  
> [Heartache](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9v8aNl6Aps)  
> [One More Time, One More Chance](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqFftJDXii0)  
> [Pledge](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3khQd1dnaP0)  
> [Last Heaven](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bAil_3Ro3aE)  
> [Tears](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmidpJI04Qc)  
> [Ah Yeah](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pm0_G8Zl0ek)  
> [At Gwanghwamun](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUbq_IXBaYg)  
> [Cassis](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37dGDZ0hlB4)  
> Come play with me on[Twitter](https://twitter.com/Smol_chipmunk)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jun was taken to a local hospital to be checked over, and Yuzuru insisted on going to visit him after the short-cut show. They were led into Jun's private room and the younger gave Yuzuru a weak smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I hope you're doing well and I hope you've all had a good week. This chapter is sad, I'm so sorry, so please be prepared. That being said, thank you so so soooooo much for reading this, and I hope you all enjoy it! xxx

Jun was taken to a local hospital to be checked over, and Yuzuru insisted on going to visit him after the short-cut show. They were led into Jun's private room and the younger gave Yuzuru a weak smile. He was conscious again, sitting up in the hospital bed with an IV going into his left arm. The nurses gave the new pair a smile as they left, promising to return to check on the youngster in a little bit. Keiji lingered by the door, chatting to the security placed on the room, and Yuzuru sat down beside Jun.

"Hey. How are you feeling?"

Jun's look said all that he couldn't find the words to, and Yuzuru opened up his arms. The younger hid his face in Yuzuru's shoulder and started shaking and crying. Yuzuru held him close, trying to comfort his friend but, with what happened at the concert, he had no idea how to.

"The doctors gave me this," Jun finally managed to speak again and he gestured to the IV in his arm, "and they did say something about resting, but I can't rest, Yuzu. I have six more dates in Seoul and they're all at the Olympic Stadium. They're all sold out, and I really can't let that many people down, you know?"

"Jun," Yuzuru tried to be the kind voice to reason to the younger, "you fainted twice on stage and someone tried to abduct you. I think people will understand if you decide to cancel your shows in Seoul."

"I can't. Not my decision anyway," Jun shrugged. "This is making me uncomfortable though." He tugged on the IV and Yuzuru took his hand to stop him ripping it out.

"It's fine. It's giving you good things Jun. Things you need."

"It's uncomfortable. But they said as soon as the bag is empty, I can go."

Yuzuru nodded and held Jun's shoulders as they sat together in a comfortable silence. The nurses came back in and checked over Jun's IV bag just as Jun's Korean manager came in.

"A moment of privacy please?" He asked, fixing Yuzuru and Keiji with a glare to push them out of the room faster. With them gone, he turned to Jun and golded his arms. "While the doctors say that it is better for you to rest, we really think that, since it's only two more weeks and only six more concerts, so you're going to do them. It wouldn't be good for your public image if you were to cancel all these days. And you have a full day off between this show and the next one, so really I don't see why you're worrying. We'll heighten the security for you so that no fans can sneak on stage again."

Jun nodded, closing his eyes as his head started to throb with the beginnings of a headache. His manager cleared their throat to get him to open his eyes up again and meet the unforgiving ones that flicked to the IV before they went back to Jun's.

"You've lost nearly twenty pounds. Don't blow it now."

Yuzuru and Keiji were allowed to return to Jun's hospital room and, once the IV bag was empty, he was discharged. Yuzuru insisted that he was to accompany the youngster back to his hotel. Positioned between Lotte World and the Olympic Stadium, the hotel was in the perfect location for Jun. After dropping him off at his room, Yuzuru and Keiji returned to their own where Ryuju was waiting for them.

"Are you guys okay?" He pulled them both into a tight hug as he spoke. "I heard about what happened. It sounds terrifying!"

"I'm shocked at how lax the security was," Keiji grimaced as they all sat on the bed together, "and also terrified. Shocked and terrified."

"I'll go sort out some room service." Ryuju gave them his gentle and comforting smile as both he and Yuzuru climbed off the bed. "Are you calling Brian?"

Yuzuru nodded and dialed, leaning against the cool glass of the doors that led out onto the balcony as it rang out. The lights of Seoul shone outside and, if he squinted his eyes and tried hard enough, he could almost see to the darkness beyond them.

"Hello?" Brian's comforting voice brought Yuzuru down from his spiralling thoughts and back to reality. "I saw the news Yuzuru. What's going on? What's happened?"

"It was bad," Yuzuru grimaced. "I don't understand how, but someone snuck in past the security and made it up onto the stage. They tried to pull Jun off the stage midway through one of our songs. And then Jun fainted on one of the other security guards there, one of the legitimate ones."

"His Korean manager won't pick up the phone and I doubt he's letting Jun answer his. Do you know if he's going to do his next six planned shows?"

"Probably," Yuzuru sighed. "Do you think it's wise if I...?"

"I think you should," Brian filled in from where Yuzuru had trailed off. "If you don't think you can perform your best after this, then you should cancel your dates in Japan. They'll understand."

"I know they'll understand, but I hate to let them down," Yuzuru mumbled. "It's for the best, though, right? This is the best decision, isn't it?"

"I think it is, but I understand that you're frustrated."

"Thanks Brian," Yuzuru rubbed his forehead. "Is there anything you can do about Jun, or...?"

"Sadly not. If I could, you know Tracy and I would have done it by now. We just want him to be alright but the conditions of him coming to Canada meant that we aren't in charge. His Korean manager has the final say on pretty much everything. It's frustrating and exhausting, and leaves poor Jun in that hellhole." Brian sighed, frustrated and tired, before he lightened his tone for Yuzuru's sake. "Anyway. Do you want me to book you a flight back here or are you going to stay there for a few more days? You don't have to take responsibility for Jun's situation, Yuzuru."

"I know, but I can't help but feel at least a little like it's my fault."

"Why would it be your fault?" Brian asked him with the tone of a quirked eyebrow in his voice.

"It was at my show—"

"Oh, please. Like you asked for a random fan to come up and try to kidnap him. It's not your fault, Yuzuru, so please don't blame yourself or beat yourself up about it."

"Okay," was all Yuzuru could get out in response. "See you in Toronto Brian."

"Take care."

When he hung up the phone, Yuzuru tossed it onto the bed as the tears began to fall and the dam he'd been using to try and keep everything back broke. Keiji wrapped him up into his arms, cradling his head gently and stroking his hair as he brought him to sit on the bed.

"Pon, what's going on?"

"Ever since he left, it's all gone wrong. Everything."

* * *

Jun barely slept that night. Every time he drifted off, his mind was filled with dreams of being dragged off the stage by faceless people. He could feel their sharp nails digging into his wrist like the talons of an eagle piercing the skin of their prey. In his nightmare, he was pulled into a car surrounded by sasaeng fans. He woke up gasping for air and pushing away no one but his mental demons. He ended up sitting by the window, watching the buses and cars speed past. The glow of the city calmed him a little since he'd grown up with the bright lights. The cool glass was sharp but somewhat refreshing, made cooler still by the winter in the world outside. With the duvet from the bed wrapped around his shoulders, he almost drifted off to sleep when the sharp ringing of his phone woke him back up.

"Learn time zones," he mumbled as he groped for the phone and, without checking the contact, answered. "Hello?"

The person on the other end was silent for a second before Jun could hear lots of giggling.

"Hello?" He asked again, unable to keep the exhaustion from seeping into his voice. "Please, if this is important—"

"We're such big fans—"

Jun hung up the phone and dropped it like it was burning. All comfort was gone and he felt more awake than before. Everything seemed to be closing in on him and he curled up tighter, trying to hide from the world and the ones who seemed determined to have him remember them through any means necessary. When they haunted his dreams and his waking moments, how could he forget them?

The next day, he felt like he was in a trance as he practiced for his show, working through the choreography of his dances with several security guards looming around him. On the 9th he had his first show at the Olympic Stadium and his heart raced at a mile a minute when he saw the huge crowd gathering just for him. His makeup artist finished their work just as his manager and the sound technician came over to secure his microphone to his cheek.

"They're all here for you," his manager said, practically glowing with excitement that Jun didn't return, "so don't let them down. Bright smiles. Lots of enthusiasm, and let's smash the first of the last six performances of your tour."

Jun couldn't shake off the sense of dread that pooled in his stomach like he'd just eaten a bag of rocks. His heart started to race as he was given a two minute warning for the start of the concert, and his mouth went incredibly dry. He didn't realise that he was trembling until he felt the firm, grounding hand of his manager pushing him firmly between his shoulder blades.

"Calm down and get out there."

With that, Jun was shoved out onstage and left at the mercy of the fans. The screamed for him, and he felt like he was looking through a fish-eyed lens as he looked out at them. His chest tightened and it took him several moments to try and get himself to talk.

"H-hello Seoul!" Everyone picked up on his stutter and his chest tightened further. He was glad that he didn't have a hand-held microphone as he didn't doubt that he would have dropped it. His breathing was incredibly hard and he hadn't done anything yet. "Thank you so much for coming! How are you all?" He was met with a scream that made his chest tighten further instead of make him happier or more relaxed. "First song you all know, so please join in!"

Always a crowd favourite, Jun and his backup dancers started off the show with Really Really. The crowd were soon clapping along, but the combination of dancing and singing only made Jun's already tight chest and breathing difficulties worse. He somehow made it through the song and fought to try and stop shaking as the screen beside him showed which songs were to come next. His heart dropped to the pit of his stomach and nausea overcame him when he saw those four words.

Boy with a Star.

Jun tried to keep his reaction strictly internal and he sat down at the piano. The Olympic stadium was filled with a painfully long silence that was broken only by a sharp gasp for breath. One of the staff working the show ran to him to comfort him, but the entire arena was filled with an ear-piercing scream, amplified by the microphone, when they placed a hand on Jun's shoulder from behind. Whispers went through the crowd as Jun was escorted off the stage in the midst of a panic attack and his manager had to explain for him that the concert dates for the rest of the tour were sadly cancelled.

"Hi, this is Yuzuru Hanyu. I'm sorry to everyone who was looking forward to seeing my shows in Japan but, due to recent events, those tour dates are now cancelled. Full refunds will be issued and, if there are any problems getting refunds for transportation that was booked, please send the information to the email address below and it will be sorted for you. I'm so sorry, but, for now, we feel that it is the best and safest course of action. Thank you for your continued support."

The Instagram video was copied and shared to every corner of every social media platform, and the support for Yuzuru, and Jun to an extent, was tainted by the overwhelming anger from certain fans. Keiji didn't dare check the comments on the Instagram video as so many were filled with slurs thrown towards him and Yuzuru. Back in Canada, when a devastated Jun had come back to the club in early December in floods of tears, Brian didn't tell him about the piles of hate letters and death threats that he and Tracy had shredded. Instead, Tracy opened her arms to comfort the artist while Brian helped him plan a media silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Really Really](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4tBnF46ybZk)  
> [Boy With a Star](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzWkvEnWxwQ)  
> (Bonus of [Jun skating to it](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zre4cYolzAQ))


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a whirlwind of cancellations, the silence that followed was painful and deafening for the fans. Demands on Keiji's instagram grew and, when he posted a picture of the sunrise in Sendai, he had to leave his phone in another room as comments flooded in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, I hope you're all doing well! This chapter is mean and I'm really really sorry! The addresses and locations are real places, but I have no idea if they really are their homes. Please please pleaseeeee don't go there! Thank you guys so much for reading this, and I really hope you enjoy it!

After a whirlwind of cancellations, the silence that followed was painful and deafening for the fans. Demands on Keiji's instagram grew and, when he posted a picture of the sunrise in Sendai, he had to leave his phone in another room as comments flooded in. All of them were asking the same question: where's Yuzuru? Some asked what was happening with the tour, even after they'd got their refunds, and some were genuinely concerned about Yuzuru's safety. Letters flooded in at the club for him that Brian and Tracy piled up, ready for his return, but Yuzuru took the opportunity to hide in his family home for a little while, letting Keiji and Ryuju escape to go on some dates together. His parents didn't question his decision to end the tour early, and Saya would sit with him for some time in their garden. The siblings sat there and didn't exchange a word; Yuzuru broke the silence by messing around on his acoustic guitar. They could sit like that for hours, enjoying the comfort from the other's company, and Yuzuru felt so much calmer when he was around her. His parents enveloped him in a hug and, even with everything going on in the outside world, his little bubble of happiness and safety was protected and all he needed at that moment.

Very few people knew Yuzuru's phone number; the number of people who knew it was down in single figures. When the standard ringtone cut through the silence of his room at midnight, Yuzuru set down his guitar and picked it up. His heart jumped in his throat when he saw the name on the screen.

"H-hello?" He answered, heart racing as his palms grew more clammy. They hadn't spoken properly in months, so why was he calling now. Guilt twisted in his stomach and he couldn't help but think back to the Madrid show where someone had been missing.

"Yuzu," the nickname made his heart flutter faster, and, for one moment, he was transported back to the club and back to the moments of sweet cuddles and giggles as they wrote songs together, "have you seen what's happened online?"

"No?" Yuzuru sat down and opened up his laptop, login into his secret twitter account. He'd put a generic profile picture up, and had a generic username with a few numbers after it so that no one would ever guess it was really him. Although Brian said not to check social media, at times the curiosity got the better of his common sense, and he couldn't help himself.

This time, he wished he could have helped himself. He dropped his phone and it landed on his desk with a loud clatter. He could faintly hear Javier calling his name on the other end of the line, but his head was spinning and a ringing filled his ears.

_@Inoue_Kentaro_

_Hanyu Yuzuru cancelled his tour in 2014 because of medical issues, he said. Hanyu Yuzuru was poisoned and spent weeks in hospital because of glue in his drink. This tour? Because he's a coward. Want to find the coward? Read the thread_

_@Inoue_Kentaro_

_Hanyu Yuzuru's home address in Canada: 48 St Clair Ave W Toronto ON M4V 2Z2_

_Hanyu Yuzuru's home address in Japan: 385-1300, Fukuzumimachi, Miyagino-ku Sendai-shi, Miyagi_

_Brown Jason's home address: 654 Elk Street, Highland Park, Il, 60035_

_@Inoue_Kentaro_

_Brown Jason's home address in Canada: 790 Borough Drive Toronto ON M1P 4W2_

_Medvedeva Evgenia's home address in Moscow: Severnyy Pos. 9-YA Lin. Ul. bld. 9, appt.71 Moskva Moskovskaya oblast_

_Medvedeva Evgenia's home address in Canada: 1936 Bay Street Toronto ON M5J 2R8_

_@Inoue_Kentaro_

_Tanaka Keiji's home address: 306-1034, Tamashima Tomi, Kurashiki-shi, Okayama, 713-8116_

_Hino Ryuju's home address: 205-1233, Otemachi Jieieibiru(6-kai), Chiyoda-ku, Tokyo, 100-6806_

_Orser Brian's home address: 3147 Adelaide Street Toronto ON M5H 1P6_

_@Inoue_Kentaro_

_Cha Jun Hwan's home address in Seoul: 1002-6, Siheung 1(il)-dong, Geumcheon-gu, Seoul, 153-865_

_Cha Jun Hwan's home address in Canada: 2677 Yonge Street Toronto ON M4W 1J7_

_Wilson Tracy's home address: 1543 Yonge Street Toronto ON M4W 1J7_

_@Inoue_Kentaro_

_These are the people you can ask. If you have any questions, ask them. How do you know my information is reliable? Because I used to be his manager in Japan. That's why. My information is as reliable as it comes._

"-Zu! Yuzu! Yuzu can you even hear me? Yuzu, say something!"

It took several agonising moments for Yuzuru to come back to himself, and he didn't have enough control of himself to pick up the phone. Instead, he pressed to switch it to speaker phone, and, even in the midst of his world crumbling around him, Javier's voice acted like a rock that grounded him and made him feel more comfortable.

"What's going on?" Yuzuru managed to get out in a very light and weak voice. "Javi, what's happening?"

"Okay, Yuzu, I need you to listen to me and focus on me, okay? Don't you worry about the ones in Canada, okay? They're fine. I promise you they're fine. Jason and Zhenya are hiding together at Shoma's place in Toronto. Brian, his partner, Tracy, and her partner, they've all gone together to Brian's lake house. They're okay."

"Javi," Yuzuru drew back his bedroom curtain and grimaced at the small crowd of cars and photographers that had already started to gather at his house, "how the hell do I get my family out of this mess?"

"No, no, Yuzu, listen to me. Keep listening to me, okay? Just keep talking to me and it'll be alright. Keiji knows. Keiji is sorting something out for them. What you need to worry about is packing your things ready to go back to Toronto."

"But my house in Canada--"

"I contacted Jun and he said you can stay with him. He's hiding with his mother in Toronto still. Turns out he's pretty smart and they have a secret place for him that no one else knows about other than his family." Yuzuru could hear Javi's eyebrow raise in his voice. "And now you. Don't betray Jun's trust."

"Like I ever would," Yuzuru almost had a laugh in his voice. "My parents... Saya... Will they--?"

"Keiji's finding them a place in Japan. It's going to be okay, Yuzu. It's going to be okay."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

_"I promise that years will not pass. I will rip the grey goodbyes out of the calendar. Happier days haven't come yet. I promise you I will forget my scars and give back what I have stolen from your two sad eyes. I promise you that soon we will move from failure and confusion to the street of silence. I promise you that we will become eternal. That's what it means roughly," Javier said with a light shrug. "I like Prometo. It's a very me song."_

_"It is a very you song," Yuzuru gave him a gentle smile and fiddled with his earring. "I like it."_

_"It's not like your style at all," Javier teased._

_"But I like listening to it anyway. It's you, unfiltered and with no pretenses. I like that Javi."_

_"Promise you're not just saying that?"_

_"Promise."_

"I trust you," Yuzuru said softly. "Pack my things?"

"Pack your things ready for Toronto. We'll make sure that no one ruins the house, okay? No one is allowed in. That's against the law. What they're doing now is a horrendous break of privacy anyway and we're tracking down Inoue Kentaro."

"Don't bother. He's a snake. He'll disappear when he wants to and only appears when he has a reason to." Yuzuru kept Javier on speaker phone while he threw a load of clothes into his case and packed up both his guitars, ready for a flight. "Wait a second. Javi? When am I going to Toronto exactly?"

"We'll have you on a flight as soon as possible. When you're packed, they'll stick you on the next available one. A secure car will meet you at the airport in Toronto, I promise."

The word promise kept bouncing around the room, and Javier agreed to stay on the line with him as he escaped the house under a hail of camera flashes and jumped into the car. Journalists shouted questions at him, demanding answers about his recent tour being cancelled and also his 2014 tour that was cancelled due to undisclosed medical reasons. Yuzuru hid, sliding down in his seat with a grimace as the driver took him away from the situation and towards the airport.

"You'll be alright," Javier promised him once again. "Seriously Yuzu. It's okay. You've got this. You're the strongest person I know, and you've got an amazing family behind you. You're going to get on that plane, and then you're going to meet me at the airport in Toronto, and I'm going to drive you to Jun's, okay?"

"Okay," Yuzuru whispered, trying to keep his tone light and hopeful even as his mind was swirling and his heart ached. "You'll update me on my family, right?"

"Yes. Don't worry about them Yuzu. Keiji is working on it, I swear."

Yuzu tried to relax. He tried to keep calm. His chest was tight, but not in an impending asthma attack kind of way. He sat there for the entire plane journey with his mask on and eyes hidden, trying to go as unnoticed as possible. The little girl in the seat next to him playing pokémon on her switch ignored him completely. The mother kept sending him weird looks, and her eyes lingered on his piercings and eyebrow slit like they made him a mass murderer or something, ready to snatch her baby away at a moment's notice even when they were on a plane together. The flight to Toronto was long enough for Yuzuru's nerves to amplify and his legs were shaking as he collected his bags and stepped out of the plane last. He followed behind everyone, and the guy checking his passport only quirked an eyebrow at the name before he let him through. He tried to keep himself hidden as he collected his things and stepped into the arrivals gate.

There he was, glowing with his tan from the Spanish sun, with his devastatingly beautiful doe-like brown eyes shining with happiness when they caught his own. His whole face seemed to sparkle with joy, and the crinkles by his eyes made butterflies flutter around in Yuzuru's tummy. The younger couldn't help but laugh a the sign; it both preserved his privacy as well as brought back the delightful memories of a shared in joke.

"Car for Yazanuri," Javier joked as Yuzuru gave him a tight hug and hid his face in his shoulder.

"Thank you for coming to get me Javi," he whispered as Javier shouldered his electric guitar for him and he took one of his cases too. "I couldn't do this without you."

"No worries," he gave him a gentle smile as he opened up the passenger side door for him. "I'll drive you to Jun's place. His mother is... Protective of him at the moment. More so than normal."

"I would be too," he said with a nod.

"Do you mind me asking what happened?" Javier asked him as he set off, driving them towards the night. "I saw the videos. It looked awful at Lotte, and then they made him do a show not long after? I'm glad that you had the chance to say no to the rest of your shows."

"It was awful," Yuzuru confessed into his pooh bear tissue box that he just couldn't bear to leave behind, even at twenty-four years old. "Terrifying. One moment we were singing together and then the next... The next some random guy had my friend in his arms and was trying to carry him away before anyone could stop him. And he called himself a fan?"

"It's a thing in South Korea," he said softly. "I heard about it a while ago, but I just thought it was them exaggerating. If people are really willing to try and kidnap an idol just so that they will always remember that fan..." Javier shook his head as he turned off the main road. "It's fucked up."

Yuzuru nodded, sinking lower into his seat. "Poor baby. It's even worse that they made him do a show so soon after it."

"No wonder he had a panic attack on stage and then fainted."

"That and he's been starving himself since at least September."

Javier glanced over at Yuzuru for a moment, sensitive eyes scanning Yuzuru's form for a moment.

"You've not been eating properly."

Yuzuru blinked at him and grimaced. "I have--"

"Don't lie to me. Please. I know you haven't. You've never looked like this before, not even when you came back from your weeks in hospital back in 2014. You look so pale, so withdrawn into yourself... Like a zombie almost. What's been going on?"

"I just had some emotional difficulties. Doesn't matter."

"If they're tearing you apart that badly, it matters," Javier said firmly. "Yuzu, I'm back now as a friend. A friend and a training manager basically. This is a very fun first job I have to say. But, in all seriousness, you can be honest with me and I'll listen to you because I care about you."

Yuzuru lowered his eyes and gave him a weak smile. "Thank you Javi. I-I promise you it's all fine."

Javier pulled up to a stop in a suburban neighbourhood that looked inconspicuous. "Tell me if there's something bothering you, okay? Call me. Text me. I'll always be here for you."

"Thanks Javi," Yuzu said softly and gave him a weak smile.

They climbed out of the car together and carried his bags up to the door. A Korean woman with caring eyes opened up the door for them and ushered them in, looking around frantically for any photographers who might have been lurking around. She led them into the guest room and prepared some food for the pair of them.

"Rest up," she said with kindness in her voice before she called further into the house in Korean. Emerging from his room in soft fluffy pyjamas and carrying a raccoon in his arms, Jun gave them both a very weak smile.

"You'll stay safe, right?" Javier asked as he gave Yuzuru one more hug.

"We will. I promise."

Yuzuru watched out of the guest room window as Javier's car turned around in the road and disappeared into the night, and he let the curtain fall with a heavy sigh, turning back to the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Prometo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lW32zvWW4R4)  
> Come play with me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Smol_chipmunk)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For a while, it worked. They stayed hidden in Jun's home with very little contact to the others except Ghislain phoning Yuzuru's number on an old Nokia he'd kept for emergencies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I hope you've all had a good week and have been taking care of yourselves. This chapter is mean, I'm sorry, but there's also a nice bit at the end! Thank you guys so much for reading this and I appreciate all the support! Hope you like it! xxx

For a while, it worked. They stayed hidden in Jun's home with very little contact to the others except Ghislain phoning Yuzuru's number on an old Nokia he'd kept for emergencies. Jun's mother, whose face had been kept out of the media as much as possible, did shopping and got them everything they needed. Yuzuru could almost ignore the sobbing coming from the room next to him in the middle of the night. He sat up at night just holding his guitar by the open window, enjoying the cool breeze of the winter air as it moved his hair and kept him feeling somewhat grounded. The weight of his acoustic in his lap felt right, but everything else felt wrong. He hadn't been able to contact his family or Keiji. He'd only been able to call Javier once and he hadn't been able to tell him very much. He could only tell him that they were safe, but he didn't want to tell him where they were in case someone was tracking their conversation. Yuzuru wanted to tell him that they couldn't, but just having Javier back and taking to him again as enough to put him a little more at ease in the terrible situation they were stuck in.

"When this is over," Javier told him a fortnight after he'd first hidden in Jun's house during their weakly phone call, "I'll take you for tea at your favourite green tea and I can have my coffee. I promise, we can go together and I'll get you tea and your favourite strawberry shortcake."

Yuzuru chuckled, laugh a little shaky, but he smiled and nodded even though Javier couldn't see him and even with tears in his eyes. "If you're paying, I'll order three slices of the cake. All for me."

"I look forward to it Yuzu." The laughter in Javier's tone made his heart flutter before he sighed. "Yuzu?"

"Yes?"

There was a long moment of silence before he spoke again.

"You mean more to me every single day, Yuzu." Javier told him and his voice felt like a warm blanket fresh from the dryer. "No one makes me feel the way you do. Stay safe and I'll be there as soon as I can to help you."

"You stay safe too. I appreciate all you're doing for me Javi."

"It's my job," Yuzuru's smile died when he said those words. "Talk to you later."

Yuzuru listened to the tone after Javier had hung up and he chewed on his lip, holding the phone still clamped to his ear.

"I love you," he whispered to no one. "I love you so much Javi."

"Yuzu?" Jun knocked on the door and pushed it open gently. With his skin paler than ever and hollowed cheeks, the dark circles under his eyes stood out more than ever. A healthy slim figure had turned to a gaunt figure that even oversized hoodies couldn't hide. He casually leaned against the wall of the room, and Yuzuru gave him the softest smile he could. "My mum's made some food if you're hungry."

"Thanks Jun." He reached out and caught the other's wrist before he could go. He grimaced at the feel of it. It was like someone had drawn paper across the bones. He could easily wrap his hand around it, and he probably could have snapped the younger's wrist if he'd tried. "Jun? Are you going to join us for dinner tonight, or are you going to leave me alone with your scary, scary mother again?"

Jun gave him a weak smile and shook his head, chewing his lip. "I can't--"

"Pretty please?"

Jun sighed and nodded. His mother loaded their plates up with food and lit up at the sight of her son giving her a smile again.

"I miss you," she told him quietly. "I just want my smiling young man to come back. Fame be damned. Your happiness means more to me than whatever following this will bring you."

"I'm perfectly happy," Jun gave her a big fake smile and fell into a hug in her arms. "You don't ever have to worry about me."

When she hugged him, she could feel his protruding hipbones. She could feel his ribs. She felt like she was hugging a skeleton rather than her son.

"Jun, I think you should--"

"I don't need to go to the doctor. They said I was fine. I took the pills they told me to. I did what they asked. I'm fine."

She only ended the conversation because Yuzuru walked in too and joined them for dinner. He watched, heart shattering as he saw the younger moving the food around on the plate to give the illusion of eating. Jun's mother apparently saw it too and gently encouraged him to eat a little more.

"Hey, Jun? Do you want to play something new that you've been working on for me? You know I always love to hear your music."

"Just give me a minute please," Jun gave her a smile and disappeared to the bathroom. She met Yuzuru's eyes and she shook her head in despair.

"I feel like the worst mother in the world," she confessed as she set their dishes to the side and started making them warm drinks. "When you can't even help your baby to feel better, what kind of mother are you? When you know he's suffering with so much, but he won't tell you how to help, what am I meant to do? I want to reach out and take him out of the hell he's ended up in, but I can't."

"It's my fault this is all going on," Yuzuru told her with painful regret in his voice. "It's all my fault. The details, they wouldn't have released the information about your homes if it wasn't for me."

"He loves music," she told him gentle and patted his arm. "Don't worry yourself. It's not your fault but it's the fault of how our music system works. It uses them. Sucks them dry of talent and then they discard them when they're no longer the youngest or most talented." She slid Yuzuru a mug of tea and rubbed at her forehead. "I'm grateful he's doing what he loves, but I hate what has become of how. He deserves to be able to pursue his passion how he wants. He should be able to practice when he wants and deliver concerts to whichever parts of the world he sees fit to, not become a slave to the company. I'm sorry I ever said yes to this."

"It's not your fault," Yuzuru patted her arm. He opened his mouth to continue speaking but Jun came back downstairs and the three of them all plastered on smiles for each other. "So! What's this new thing, huh?"

In the corner of the room was a little upright piano. Vastly different to the grands that Jun used to record his songs or had in his videos, it instead felt homely and more personal. Yuzuru and Jun's mother settled on the sofa and listened as Jun sat down, giving them a nervous smile.

"This is called Every day, Every Moment. Eomma: modeun nal, modeun sungan. Um... I hope you like it?"

With none of the makeup, with none of the synthetic beats, with no flashy clothes, with no dramatic effects, with nothing but his piano and voice, Jun performed for his arena of two. Jun's mother's eyes filled with tears as she listened, understanding every word of the Korean lyrics. Yuzuru, although he didn't understand what was being said, could feel in the music and from how Jun performed it what it meant. As Jun sang, his heart ached painfully for his other part and his thoughts drifted to Javier. When the song ended, they both went to applaud him when Jun started to fall backwards and Yuzuru just made it in time to catch him.

"Jun? Jun! Jun, can you hear me?" He held the younger's shoulders and shook him lightly. "Jun please!"

"Ambulance is on its way," his mother knelt down beside them and checked her son's pulse and breathing. "He's unconscious and I need to know why."

"Mrs Cha," Yuzuru looked at her with genuine concern in his eyes, "please. Let me go with him instead to the hospital. It's getting crazy out there and I don't want to risk you getting hurt by the media personnel or anything."

"He's my son."

"Mrs Cha, please, I promise you I'll look after him. I don't want you to get home too because he needs someone to come back to when he can come back."

She held out her phone to him unlocked and he entered his number, typing his contact in for her. She sent him a message so that he could add her to his phone too.

"You will update me the moment you know something. You will let me know as soon as something happens. You will tell me, okay? And you will not sugar coat it. You will tell me exactly what is going on. Please."

"Of course." Yuzuru bowed his head to her and held onto Jun, checking he could breathe and he still had a pulse. "I'm so worried for him."

"Me too."

The ambulance arrived and, with it, came a group of journalists and reporters. Yuzuru let the paramedics in and slammed the door in the face of the hundreds of questions that came his way.

"Severely underweight. If I had to guess, maybe a hundred pounds?" One of them said with a grimace. "Breathing looks and sounds okay but I really don't like this. We'll hook him up to monitors on the way in and get an IV with nutrients ready for him when he arrives. Alert Doctor Kim." The pair of medics looked between Yuzuru and Jun's mother. "Which of you is coming with us?"

"He is," Jun's mother shoved Yuzuru forwards and patted him on the back. "Please. Help him recover."

"It's our job ma'am. Don't worry. We will do everything we can. Come on. I can lift the kid out to the ambulance since he's so light. We don't need a stretcher."

The moment the paramedics opened the door, cameras were flashing as they caught pictures of the Korean star unconscious. They closed in to the point where the paramedic was struggling to even move, let alone effectively do their job, no matter how polite they tried to remain. Yuzuru's frustration bubbled up and he shoved his way through the crowd.

"Move out of his way. He's a paramedic carrying someone unconscious and you're blocking him? What kind of monsters are you? Move!"

"Mr Hanyu! What do you have to say about the cancelled tour back in 2014?"

"Mr Hanyu! Can you confirm that your tour cancelled because you drank glue?"

"Was it a suicide or murder attempt Mr Hanyu?"

"Mr Hanyu! Will you resume your world tour?"

"Mr Hanyu, are you afraid, and is that why you cancelled your tour?"

"What are you afraid of Mr Hanyu?"

"I told you to move!" Yuzuru's patience snapped and he shoved back the journalist who was blocking the ambulance. They stumbled back and fell over. They landed unharmed but, being a dramatic journalist, they began screaming.

"Hanyu Yuzuru brutally assaulted an innocent journalist!" Another screeched as Jun was loaded up into the back of the ambulance. "Mr Hanyu! What do you have to say about being such a violent man? Were you violent before you started writing this music, or did this music cause you to become so violent?"

Consequences be damned, Yuzuru shot them his murderous death glare as he climbed into the back of the ambulance and the doors were slammed shut behind him.

* * *

"You guys need anything?" Evgenia asked Jason and Shoma as she buttoned up her coat and looped the scarf around her neck. "I'm going to go to the club, and I could pick you something up on the way back if you want."

"We're good," Jason gave her a smile. "Thanks for helping us find this place to stay while the media..."

"Has a shit storm," Evgenia chuckled and rolled her eyes. "I'm glad that at least Conrad and I can record this one together so that he can finish his album off. I love it when you call me Senorita~"

"Yes, we've only heard it six thousand times." Shoma grumbled

"Shut it. Don't eat all my snacks Shoma!"

"Sure sure, whatever you say," Shoma mumbled, walking around with sweatpants on and intense curly bedhead. "Have fun."

"I will. Bye boys! Don't open the door to strangers!" She waved to them and disappeared into the cold wind of the Toronto winter.

Left alone, Jason gave Shoma a smile.

"Tea?"

"Please."

Stealing one of Evgenia's Sailor Moon mugs and a bunny mug of hers, Jason made some mugs of tea for them. With a smile, they settled on the sofa together and Shoma leaned his head on Jason's shoulder without even thinking. Jason blindly reached for the television remote and turned it on, freezing.

"Korean pop sensation Jun Hwan Cha was carried from a house in Toronto to an ambulance last night. Japanese rock artist and world sensation Yuzuru Hanyu accompanied him and pushed a journalist out of the way when they were blocking the ambulance. Nothing has been heard from either of them yet, and we are awaiting any statements."

"Shit," Shoma grimaced, "Yuzu pushed a guy out of the way to help the kid and he's probably going to end up charged for assault because of it?"

"Not with the testimony of the paramedics he won't," Jason explained. "I just feel bad for Jun. Poor kid has been going through hell and this is the cherry on top of the worst year of his life."

"I guess we just never know when someone is going to get hurt in this ridiculous industry." Shoma sighed and his tired brain had no filter. "If I lost you, I don't know what I'd do. You mean so much to me, Jason."

Jason froze before he caught himself and stroked Shoma's hair out of his eyes. He pressed a kiss to his forehead and Shoma looked up at him with questioning eyes.

"You mean the world to me."

"You mean the world to me too." Shoma ran his hands up and tangled his fingers in Jason's curls. "Kiss me?"

He laughed and nodded, cupping Shoma's cheeks as he pulled him into a kiss on the couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Every Day, Every Moment](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1q_t6RNuH8c)  
> [Senorita](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pkh8UtuejGw)  
> Come play with me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Smol_chipmunk)


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harsh white light shone onto his face, and he blinked awake. Machines were beeping around him, and he squeezed whatever was in his hand as the ceiling came into focus. Tubes were going into the back of his hand, and was that the sharp plastic edges of a mask digging into his cheeks?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I hope you've all had a good week and are staying safe. I'm really sorry that this chapter is a bit mean but I hope you enjoy it still!

Harsh white light shone onto his face, and he blinked awake. Machines were beeping around him, and he squeezed whatever was in his hand as the ceiling came into focus. Tubes were going into the back of his hand, and was that the sharp plastic edges of a mask digging into his cheeks?

"Hey, don't take it off," a gentle feminine voice said and a soft hand stopped his where it was holding the mask. "You need it. Stats are looking better but we've got a very low blood sugar, even with the glucose in the IV."

"How low?"

"We're up from 50 mg to 55 mg but it's still very low. I want it back up to 70 mg before I'll be happy." She adjusted a couple of things on the monitor beside Jun before her face came into his view. Deep brown eyes that looked similar to his own in size and shape locked onto his, and she smiled. Long brown hair was tied back in a neat ponytail and she gave him a calming smile. "Hi there Mr Cha. Think you can sit up with my help?"

He nodded around the wires hooking him up to the machine, and she helped him to sit upright. The room came back into focus and better detail, and he realised that he was still clutching something in his hand.

"Yuzu?" he whispered when he saw the other asleep in the seat next to him. "What's going on? What's happened?"

"He's fine, just exhausted," the doctor told him as she checked his vitals again and scribbled something on the clipboard. "Dr Asada? How's it going out there?"

"It's dreadful to be perfectly honest Dr Kim. If I have one more camera or microphone shoved in my face when I'm doing the rounds, I'll scream."

Dr Kim chuckled and smiled at Jun. "The good news for you, Mr Cha, is that you fainted because of your blood sugar. You're lucky. It could have been much worse for you than just fainting. We'll be keeping you in for at least a few days but I'd rather have you stay in for a few weeks actually."

"You mean I'm admitted? But my tour, I need to—"

"I might be jumping to conclusions," she pulled up a chair beside his bed and took the hand that wasn't holding Yuzuru's in hers, "but I think that your home situation, or your work situation, isn't helping. Mr Cha—"

"Jun is fine."

"Jun. You're in a very dangerous position right now. I know numbers have been plaguing you for a little while, but I'm going to give you some more. You know your height?"

"180 cm."

"And now for the one I know you're dreading. What's your weight Jun?"

He lowered his eyes and squeezed her hand for comfort. She stroked his shoulder like an older sibling or a parent.

"You're under a hundred pounds. 45 kg. I know it isn't entirely accurate, but you have a body mass index of just under 14. The healthy range, Jun, is 18 to 25."

"I have to be slim—"

"You were slim. Now you're ill. Jun, please, let us help you. I'll draw up something for you to follow for your diet, and we'll get you used to it for your time in the hospital, and we'll start you on a course of therapy. There's something else I want to ask you too, Jun. Have you had any course of treatment after the incident at Lotte World?"

Jun lowered his eyes and shook his head. The doctor took his hands, squeezing them.

"Don't worry Jun. We'll help you. Get you treatment and keep the media out of all of this."

"Yuzu—"

"Will be fine. I promise. There's no one I trust more than Dr Asada and she's going to look after him."

Yuzuru stirred and blinked awake in the chair. Dr Kim smiled at him across the bed and Jun from behind the mask.

"Mr Hanyu?" Another lady stepped in and slid the door to the private room shut behind them. "Hi, I'm Dr Asada. Remember me?"

"Hi Mao," Yuzuru stretched out and gave her a tired smile, "hi Dr Kim. How's it going? What's the diagnosis?"

"Well, for the last time, it's Yuna not Dr Kim. And really, we shouldn't be sharing another patient's medical information with you."

"It's okay," Jun mumbled. "He's like my big brother. It's fine, I promise."

"Well," Yuna gave Jun a sad smile, "the good news is that he's here now and we'll be coming up with a course of treatment for him. Slowly, because I really don't want you to get overwhelmed, we're going to increase your calorific intact. That combined with therapy sessions will get you back to a healthier place physically and mentally. It means two weeks until we reassess whether he's ready to go home yet."

Yuzuru nodded and he sat still as he allowed Mao to check over him.

"Mr Hanyu? A word in my office please," she nodded towards the door and Yuzuru stood.

"I'll be back soon, promise," Yuzuru told Jun as he turned to follow her and go.

"You can take off the mask. Your oxygen levels are at 98% and I'm satisfied with that. Get a little more rest. Yuzu will be back soon, and I'll be back to check on you as well, okay?"

"Okay," Jun mumbled as she helped him take off the mask before she set his files down beside his bed and left.

Across the hallway, in her office, Mao sat Yuzuru down and looked at him with firm eyes.

"How are you feeling? With all of this on your mind, this has got to be causing you immense distress."

"It's rough," Yuzuru slumped down in her chair and ran a hand through his hair. "I never expected that anyone would find out—"

"I wasn't the one who spilt about your medical history. You know I wouldn't. And I'm sorry it got released to the public in such a crude and horrible way."

"It's alright. I knew it wouldn't have been you." He met her eyes and she silently passed him a box of tissues. "I haven't been able to communicate with my parents in case the communications get tracked. I don't even know if my family are okay. I haven't been able to hear from Keiji. I-I... I put Jun through all of this because I had nowhere else to go."

"Yuzuru, listen to me. You cannot blame yourself for this. It's not your fault that this happened. It's not your fault that he collapsed. It's not your fault that you can't talk to your family. It's the media and the tabloids, and we promise you that you are safe here. No one gets past Yuna on the ward. I promise."

Yuzuru gave her a weak smile before he quirked an eyebrow at her. "So. Still going by Dr Asada, huh?"

"It's Dr Asada, but Mao Asada Kim when I'm not at work." She gave him a smile and her tone then turned teasing. "Would have asked you to perform at our wedding, but Yuna couldn't convince me that you'd quit your tour to come and perform, and also your jeans didn't really fit the wedding aesthetic and colours we were going for."

"If I get married it's going to be skinny jeans and piercings, or pyjamas," Yuzuru mumbled.

* * *

Conrad stepped in and pulled off his red beanie hat that was covered in snow. It had caught on his cheeks and, even where his hair had been covered by his hat, some flakes had managed to get into it. The club was warm and toasty, and he shrugged off his warm winter coat as he stepped in. Tracy gave him an exhausted smile and wave before she disappeared into her office to keep doing her work. Brian had unplugged the main phone after reporter after reporter had been spamming them with calls asking about Yuzuru. He hid in his office and so, when Conrad stepped into studio 1, he smile at Evgenia and Javier.

"Hi kid," he smiled and gestured to the free seat. "So. You two want to do a collaboration, yeah? What have you got?"

"We went over some lyrics the other day," Evgenia handed Javier her notebook so he could look through them, "and we're trying to decide on the style."

"Both of you are trying to branch out, aren't you?" Javier hummed as he looked between the pair of them. "I don't think you should go for something overly synthesised. From the lyrics, it's quite a sensual piece."

"Don't say it like that," Conrad rolled his eyes and the other two burst out laughing.

"I'm too gay for Conrad anyway," Evgenia said with teasing laughter. "My type isn't blonde Canadian noodle men."

"Thanks." Conrad sighed as Javier finally stopped laughing and composed himself enough to be professional again. "So, what do you think?"

"I think you should do something with a stripped back guitar. Something like that, you know? Then it'll keep the lyrics from being swamped and overpowered by the music."

"You're good at this," Evgenia teased. "You should be a manager."

Javier swatted for her fondly before he stood up. "I'm going to get coffee from Starbucks. You want anything?"

"Venti cold brew with eight shots of coffee," Conrad asked, enjoying the look of absolute horror on Javier's face.

"A venti caramel frappuccino with almond milk, not normal milk, four pumps of almond syrup, four pumps of caramel syrup, two pumps of hazelnut syrup, caramel drizzle, mocha drizzle, whipped cream, and only light ice instead of the normal amount."

"Heathens. Both of you are absolute heathens. You're lucky I like you."

When he left, Evgenia checked that the door was firmly shut before she looked at Conrad.

"Have you seen the news?"

"I try to keep away from the news at the moment. I'm kind of sick of every single news thing I see is Yuzuru Watch, or gifs of more angles of Jun fainting on stage. And, even if I already knew all the addresses and stuff, it still feels like an awful breach of privacy to read them published in tweets like that."

"It's not good, to be honest." She checked through her phone and held it out to him. "I think you should see this. I know you care about him. You can pretend you're just a fanboy all you want, but we know the truth Conrad. You love him."

To avoid answering her, he took her phone and nearly dropped it, gasping.

_Yuzuru Hanyu Exposed – a journalist reveals the truth about the shining Japanese star._

_Japanese rock sensation, Yuzuru Hanyu, has been exposed for what he is: a violent abusive man. After the truth about why he cancelled his 2014 world tour after the stop in Shanghai was revealed, he went into hiding. He was next seen carrying the Korean pop sensation Jun Hwan Cha unconscious in his arms to an ambulance. When asked about the details that were brought to light recently, the artist's response was to shove journalists out of the way under the guise of getting the Korean star to medical attention. He was last seen at the hospital, but nothing has been said about his condition or Cha's. An assault charge from the journalist has been issued to Hanyu, and no word has been said about it._

_But light has been shed on situations from the past. Hanyu's former manager, Kentaro Inoue has revealed information about the star's previous medical issues._

_"Hanyu Yuzuru was given a cup of juice backstage just after his show in Shanghai. Naive, he drank it and it contained glue. Mixed with his asthma, he was forced to cancel all his shows while he recovered in hospital. He also has had foot and ankle surgery several times to repair recurring injuries that he stupidly never looked at, forcing himself to keep going on his tours. Hanyu Yuzuru does not use auto tune, but he does not have sufficient stamina to get through his performances and, at times, he has been known to lip-synch his performances due to fatigue. I will be happy to give more interviews to the media about Hanyu Yuzuru and his private life."_

"What the fuck?" Conrad whispered. "Yuzuru? Jun? What the hell is happening to them?"

"I thought you should know. Especially about Jun." She opened her arms for him and he gave her a tight hug, despite the height difference between them. "I'm sorry."

"I can't believe I miss him as much as I do. I'm over stepping boundaries, aren't I?"

"Why would you be? I don't think you are." Evgenia raised an eyebrow at him. "You've always been kind and polite to him. You've been sweet to him. If he was uncomfortable, he never said it or asked you to stop hanging out. As far as I've seen, he's enjoyed being with you and you make him smile more than I've seen in all the time you've been here."

"I wish I could help him," Conrad mumbled.

"Drop your album like you've planned to. He would hate for you to throw your career away or derail it because of him."

_@conradorzel_

_My album July, August has been dropped! Hopefully the warmth will break your Canadian winter blues and warm you up!_

_ July, August _

_Kid in Love_

_In My Blood_

_Patience_

_Mercy_

_Lost in Japan_

_Señorita feat. Evgenia Medvedeva_

_Memories_

_Stitches_

_Treat You Better_

_Perfectly Wrong_

_There's Nothing Holding Me Back_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Kid in Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiEz1GleIbs)  
> [In My Blood](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36tggrpRoTI)  
> [Patience](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1UQ9FdlfxXQ)  
> [Mercy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkGVmN68ByU)  
> [Lost in Japan](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SAWzXkV3hHo)  
> [Señorita](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pkh8UtuejGw)  
> [Memories](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3N0uNoTLZk)  
> [Stitches](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbfpW0pbvaU)  
> [Treat You Better](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lY2yjAdbvdQ)  
> [Perfectly Wrong](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fp47PrA4D_U)  
> [There's Nothing Holding me Back](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dT2owtxkU8k)  
> Come play with me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Smol_chipmunk)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hi Yuna," Javier panted as he leaned against the doors of the wards beside her, "how are they?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, I hope you've had a good week. This chapter feels like filler but I promise it's necessary, sorry. I hope you guys enjoy it anyway and thank you so much for reading it!

"Hi Yuna," Javier panted as he leaned against the doors of the wards beside her, "how are they?"

"First of all, we've got to check to make sure you're not wearing any wire taps and don't have any recording devices on you," she half smiled at him. "It's just a precaution, Mr Fernandez. Since these are high-profile patients."

"Of course." Javier kept up his sunny smile as he was checked over by security. Once given the go-ahead, he followed Yuna as she led him down the corridor to the rooms. "How are they?"

"As good as can be expected, I suppose," she said, giving him a slightly grim look. "Jun's gained some weight, which is good. In terms of therapy, well, it's going slowly but that's still good. I'd like to keep him in for another week at the very least to make sure that he doesn't just go and burn off everything. In terms of Yuzuru, he's alright physically. He knows about the lawsuit, so if you have any good news on that front it would be greatly appreciated. And about his family."

"I can give him good news about his family," he said with a smile as Yuna knocked on the door frame of one of the private rooms.

"Yuzuru? Jun? Visitor for you."

"Hi Jun-bug," Javier stepped in with two bouquets of flowers. He gave one, made up of a mix of gerbera daisies and white roses, to Jun and he held the other, made up of peonies, to Yuzuru, "and hi Yuzu. Mind if I sit here?"

"I'll get some water for your flowers," Mao said to the pair as Yuna lingered in the corner of the room to keep an eye on her patients.

"Please," Jun nodded to the spare chair beside Yuzuru. "Is it good news Javi?"

"From what I've heard with you, it's good news. You look so much better right now. So much healthier."

"Thanks," Jun leaned back in the bed and studied the ceiling, "but it doesn't feel like I'm doing better."

"You are. It might not feel like you are, but you absolutely are. Don't worry. It might be hard, but keep following Yuna's advice and everything will be fine. I promise." Javier turned to Yuzuru and raised his eyebrows. "As for you, I have some news. Your parents are in a safe house with Keiji and Ryuju. They're taking care of them."

Yuzuru let out a sigh of relief and a tiny smile. He leaned his head on the other's shoulder and Javier stroked his hair.

"Thank you Javi. I owe you so much."

"Don't thank me yet. That's kind of where the good news ends. You know you're being sued, right?"

"How could I miss it?" Yuzuru sagged against Javier and he pressed a kiss to his forehead. "I don't know what to do Javi. I haven't known what to do since you left, and now look where I am."

"You've still got the bestselling album that's been at number one for months now," Javier joked. "In all seriousness, I've arranged a lawyer for you. He said he'll be here soon to talk everything through with you."

"Do we have a court date?"

"In a few months. The lawyer, Stephane Lambiel, he'll talk this through with you. I promise you it'll be alright. You have witnesses."

"Yeah, witnesses that are the other journalists. All of them want to see my head on a platter. None of them will back up my side of the story."

"Just talk to Mr Lambiel, okay? I'm sure he'll be able to help you out and help you win the case. You were acting to help the other. You were acting to save Jun."

"Like they'll care."

"Trust me," Javier squeezed Yuzuru's shoulder, "and I promise it'll all work out fine."

"Walk with me?"

Yuzuru stood up and squeezed Jun's hand. "We'll be back soon, okay?"

Jun nodded, smiling and looking down at the card tucked into the flowers as they stepped out into the hallway. He held onto it tightly, biting his lip as he tried to stop the tears.

_"I hope you get better soon Junnie. Miss you so much! When you come back, I've got a song written for you. Conrad ~ x"_

Jun reached for his notebook and, holding Conrad's note close, he started to jot down some ideas for lyrics and music on the lined and manuscript paper.

* * *

Yuzuru and Javier walked down the sterile hallway together, enjoying the quiet sounds of medical machines that were muffled by the doors and walls. Most others on the ward stuck to themselves, understanding that Jun and Yuzuru needed privacy, and their families were nothing but respectful. They didn't blame the pair of artists for the heightened security, and they seemed to accept the pair as one of their own. Jun's mother occasionally made the trip to visit but she barely dared to with the media on her tail, begging her for any information about the pair.

"Mr Lambiel will get you out of this," Javier broke the silence between them. "You did the right thing there Yuzuru."

"Javi," Yuzuru looked at him with exhaustion heavy in his eyes and guilt obviously weighing on his conscience, "this is awful. I'd give it all back to just be with them now. No fame, nothing like that. I'd happily go back to playing little gigs back in Sendai if it meant that none of this happened."

"But then I'd never have met you, Yuzuru," Javier took hold of his hand as Yuzuru's heart caught in his throat. "You'd never have helped my career reach the heights it did. And please don't try to tell me that it would all be better without you, because it really wouldn't."

Yuzuru glanced up at him and, as Javier squeezed his hand, Yuzuru's heart fluttered. When Javier gave him that bright, sunshine smile that was warmer than the beaches of Spain on a hot summer's day, he couldn't help but smile back.

"I miss you so much," Yuzuru whispered as they resumed walking, holding hands as they carried on along the hallway.

"Yuzuru, I have to ask you something. Your album. The grief. Is it because of me? Because, if it is, I'm so sorry."

"Please, do not apologise," Yuzuru squeezed his hand and gave him the smallest, most gentle and comforting smile that he could muster up. "Javi, without you, I wouldn't be where I am. I wrote this album because I needed to get out everything I was feeling."

"I made you hurt that badly, didn't I?" Javier said after a moment.

"More like I don't like change at all. Javi?" They stopped and he looked down, meeting Yuzuru's eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything in the past that I did and every time I hurt you, and—"

"Yuzuru," Javier cupped his cheeks to shut him up, "you do not need to apologise. You didn't do anything wrong. You have a beautiful, emotional, delicate gift. You can touch people's hearts in a way that I don't understand, even when there's a language barrier between them. Do you know how long I sat there, listening to your album on repeat, wanting so desperately to call you and ask?"

"Javi—"

"I looked up the translations for the lyrics. Yuzuru, what's going on? I've never seen you this pale, this... terrible looking."

"You know how to compliment people," Yuzuru teased, and Javier rolled his eyes with a chuckle.

"I mean it. What's happened? What happened to you?"

"I-I..." Yuzuru couldn't meet his eyes, even as Javier raised an eyebrow at him and giggled his hand, trying to courage him to look up. "Javi. I... You have my permission to ask Doctor Asada. But I-I can't say it."

"I understand. If any of this is my fault, Yuzu, I'm so sorry."

"It's not, I swear. Never is your fault."

"But—"

Yuzuru stood up on his toes and cupped Javier's cheeks. He ran his fingers through the other's curls and Javier couldn't stand it. He stroked the sides of Yuzuru's face as he pulled him into a passionate kiss in the middle of the hallway. They both leaned into it, making out in the hallway, before Yuzuru had to pull back for air. He panted, and smiled up at Javier as the other kept holding onto him like he was the most precious thing in the world.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that for," Javier whispered as they pressed their foreheads together.

"How long?" Yuzuru whispered as he kept breathing hard.

"When you first moved to Brian," Javier kept holding his cheeks and stroked his thumb over the pad of them with a smile. "You... Feel the same?"

"Since the same time," Yuzuru whispered and kissed Javier quickly before both dissolved into breathless laughter. "Oh my God Javi, I love you so much."

"I love you too, Yuzu. Oh my God, I've waited so long to both hear that and be able to say that. I love you. I love you. I love you."

"Javi," Yuzuru whispered, "just hold me, please?"

"Of course," Javier wrapped his arms around him and held him safely in his arms, "of course. Anything for you, Yuzu."

When they finally returned to the room so that Yuzuru could check on Jun, they found him asleep with his notebook on his lap and his earphones in. Yuzuru moved the notebook and pencil for him, raising an eyebrow at the piano music and lyrics he had jotted down, and Javier picked up his phone and earphones.

"You wouldn't believe what he's listening to," Javier chuckled as he eased the note from within the flowers out of Jun's hand, placing it on the bedside table. He showed Yuzuru Jun's phone and he chuckled, pausing the music and putting away the earphones for him.

"There's Nothing Holding Me Back," Javier sighed. "Man, I really wish the kids could get together like we both know that they want to."

"The bitches won't let him," Yuzuru rolled his eyes. "Sorry. His management."

"The bitches," Javier sat down beside him as Yuzuru took Jun's hand in his. "Do you mind if I talk to Dr Asada?"

"You have a right to know."

Javier stood up and Yuzuru gave him a weak smile. The manager stepped out, closing the door to Jun's room before he headed down the corridor to Mao's office. Knocking on the door, she looked up from her paperwork and gestured to the seat opposite to her.

"Mr Fernandez?"

"Just Javier. Yuzuru said that you can share his medical information with me. I... Mao, please, I need to know."

She sighed. "Of course. I understand. Yuzuru told me that, should you come here, I had his permission to tell you his medical history. Yuna has been giving him therapy, and, after several sessions, she's diagnosed him with moderate to severe depression."

"Depression?" Javier thought it through and realised that yes, he did exhibit many of the symptoms. "Do we know for how long?"

"Unfortunately, not. My guess is a while. Several months, possibly a year? I'm not sure. We've got him on some medication as well as having regular therapy sessions, so he should do better. I have to say that I'm a little concerned this legal case won't help his mental state."

"As soon as it's over, he should improve though, right?"

"That's the hope. And I'm hoping that he'll do a little better with you back in his life. When can I expect to be invited to the wedding?"

"Ha ha, very funny," Javier rolled his eyes and sighed. "When this whole mess is sorted out and it's the right time. That's when."

"I look best in purple and blue, so keep that in mind for your colour scheme," Mao teased. "Go on. Go back and join him and your pseudo baby."

"Jun isn't my baby!" Javier responded with half a laugh before he stood up. "See you, Mao."

* * *

"That's rather a lot of photographers and journalists out there, no?" The man beside Javier took off his scarf as they stepped into the hospital together. He brushed the snowflakes out of his soft dark hair and smiled at the manager with gentle eyes. "This is much bigger than I initially thought, but I suppose I was underestimating. With a celebrity of Mr Hanyu's magnitude, this is to be expected I suppose."

"You don't know how grateful we are, Mr Lambiel."

"Please Javi, Stephane is fine. Introduce me to my client, please?"

Javier knocked on the room door and paused, listening for a second before he opened it up. He and Stephane stopped in the doorway and listened as Jun finished playing a new song on the keyboard Yuna had found for him. Yuzuru applauded him from his bedside before he looked up at the other two.

"That was beautiful," Stephane complimented before he offered Yuzuru his hand. "Mr Hanyu, I'm Mr Lambiel, your lawyer. I promise you I'm going to get you off these assault charges. Stephane is fine, of course."

"Yuzuru," he shook Stephane's hand, "but how are you going to get the charges dropped?"

"There was a witness who won't spin their story," Stephane gave him a smile that exuded confidence. "The paramedic."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [There's Nothing Holding Me Back](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dT2owtxkU8k)   
> (And [Jun skating to it](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SdVWcRnDGA8))


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You want me to what now?" Mao asked as she looked between Yuzuru, his lawyer, and Javier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone I hope you're doing well (sorry if these notes are a bit of a mess I've had a glass or two of wine oop) I hope you enjoy this chapter even though it's just kind of filler. Also I have no wifi at the moment so I'm having to hotspot my laptop off my phone which is NOT fun so sorryyyyyy. Anyway! I hope you enjoy this and there are no songs for this chapter (if I missed one please let me know in the comments). Enjoy and thank you for reading xxx

"You want me to what now?" Mao asked as she looked between Yuzuru, his lawyer, and Javier.

"Find the paramedic who was there with Yuzuru when he was carrying Jun in." Stephane repeated calmly to her. "Please Doctor Asada. It's our best chance at getting Yuzuru off the charges. We need their testimony."

"Nathan? I mean, I can ask him," Mao said as she tapped her pen on the desk. "I can't make him talk, but I can ask him for you if you want."

"Bless you Mao," Yuzuru half smiled as Keiji stepped into the office accompanied by Yuna. His best friend opened his arms for him and Yuzuru all but fell into them, hiding his face in the crook of the other's shoulders. "Please tell me good news. Only good news. Please."

"I can tell you good news about your family," Keiji said with a soft smile as he stroked Yuzuru's hair. He stepped back, wrapping himself up in Javier's arms, as Keiji dug out and unlocked his phone. "Your parents, grandparents, sisters, they're all safe. They've moved into Ryuju's family home and they're taking care of them, keeping them out of the eyes of the press, everything like that. That good news?"

"That's the best news you could have given me," Yuzuru smiled and Javier pressed a kiss to his forehead. "I can't help but feel like there's something you're not telling me though."

"That's where the good news ends, I'm afraid." Keiji extended his phone to him and Yuzuru went exceedingly pale as he scrolled through news article after news article, all showing pictures of his face. "This has all been published in the last twenty-four hours or so. People coming forward, ready to expose the beloved artist Yuzuru Hanyu. People love to turn against the artists they once loved the most. They love to expose them as frauds, as messes, as bastards."

"Lovely," Yuzuru mumbled with his eyes glued to the screen.

_Yuzuru Hanyu's wife finally talks_

_I'm having Yuzuru Hanyu's baby and he won't pay!_

_Assaulter Hanyu secretly married?_

_A history of Hanyu's medical records_

_One night with Hanyu left me pregnant and alone_

"Does anyone actually believe this crap?" Javier mumbled as he leaned over Yuzuru's shoulder and pressed a kiss to his cheek while he read the information.

"Enough people apparently," Keiji mumbled. "It's a pain in the backside. Guess we've got to disprove some of these for them. Want to do an Instagram live?"

"I'd rather just throw in the towel with all of this." Yuzuru leaned back and kissed Javier gently. "I love the music so much, but the crap that comes with it really isn't worth the effort. Or it doesn't feel like it's worth it anymore."

"Your music moves so many people," Javier promised him. "Don't let them win. Don't let the fire go out. Please Yuzu. Please."

Yuzuru nodded, pressing another kiss to Javier's cheek, before he met Stephane's eyes.

"What do I do?"

"You wait. Let me look at this. You let me collect the evidence. You keep yourself out of the limelight, and you don't say anything without consulting me."

Yuzuru nodded, and everyone turned when they heard the door open. Yuzuru's eyes softened and he wiggled out of Javier's arms, opening his own to offer a hug to Jun.

"Morning Junbug," he said gently as he stroked the youngster's hair down. "How are you feeling?"

"Bit better," Jun looked up at him. "Jason's tour is starting soon apparently."

"Conrad's Canadian tour should be starting soon too," Javier said a little absently, and the blush that rose across Jun's nose didn't go unnoticed. "I agreed to go with him, and Zhenya is going to join him for a couple of the dates. Hopefully all of this will be sorted out before we go, though."

"I'm an adult Javi," Yuzu teased. "I can handle a lawsuit."

"But I want to be by your side. This isn't something you should have to handle alone."

"I'll vouch for you," Jun said firmly.

"You were unconscious," Stephane pointed out. "Sorry kiddo, but your testimony doesn't really help much. But I appreciate it nonetheless as long as you're comfortable sharing some of the information. If you're called to court, you might have to reveal things about yourself that you don't want to."

Jun nodded but didn't step down or move his eyes away. Stephane smiled when Yuna stepped in followed by a medic with dark curls that spilt from the top of his head down into his eyes.

"Yuzuru, Stephane, this is Nathan Chen. Nathan, Yuzuru Hanyu and Stephane Lambiel. This man is your paramedic."

"Hi!" Nathan grinned at them and waved. His smile brightened at Jun and, despite the youngster being taller than him, he reached over and ruffled his hair. "You look a lot better than you did when I carried you in here a few weeks back. Can I pick you up?"

"Sure," Jun burst out laughing as Nathan scooped him up into his arms and spun him around.

"You're still very light, but you're doing better than you were when you first came in. Might I recommend the chocolate cake down in the cafeteria? It's the thing that really gets me through the long shifts. Plus it's the only hospital food here really worth eating."

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to steal this one away from you," Yuna took Jun's hand, "for a session. You talk this all over with Mr Lambiel, and Dr Asada will be around to help answer any questions for you."

Stephane smiled and sat down at the desk with Nathan while Javier took Yuzuru out of the room for a walk down the hospital corridors. It wasn't the ideal situation, but it was the closest thing they could have to a date given their current situation. Yuzuru leaned his head on Javier's shoulder as they laced their hands together.

"How are you feeling?"

"More hopeful," Yuzuru smiled. "Nathan seems good. Seems like he'll be honest and can really help with everything. Is everything looking up now, or have I just fallen so far that up is the only way to go?"

* * *

"You're distracted, Conrad," Brian said as gently as he could, looking between the two singers sitting across from him. "Is everything alright? I know it's a difficult, confusing, and complicated time, but your album is doing really well, especially as a debut album, and you have a chance to have an amazing debut tour."

"I know, I know, I'm sorry. Can I have a minute?"

"Sure," Brian gestured to the two of them. "Zhenya, Conrad, take five minutes to clear your heads, and then come back here. We'll discuss the tour dates then, okay? And, if you're getting coffee, please get me one too."

Evgenia gave their manager a bright smile as the pair of them left Brian's office, leaving the scattering of notebooks and maps of Canada across the desk. She shot Conrad a look and nudged him with her shoulder as they headed towards the cafeteria together. Jason gave them a wave from the corner table, and Shoma was curled up beside him with his head resting against the other's shoulder.

"They're cute together," Conrad raised an eyebrow at them across the room as Evgenia ordered her complicated coffee. "How long has that been a thing?"

"Oh, God, a few days after they came to hide at my other place in Canada. I came home the day we recorded Señorita and found them cuddling on my couch watching through my anime collection, sipping tea from my mugs. Jason made us dinner and, the entire time, they were cuddling. Jason kept feeding Shoma little bits of it and they were so cute. They even cuddled under a blanket and everything. It was so incredibly adorable."

"I'm glad that at least one good and beautiful thing has come out of this whole mess," Conrad said softly as he tapped his card and paid for both their coffees. He sipped at his black coffee and sighed, rubbing his forehead.

"You're worried about Jun, aren't you?" Evgenia said to him with a gentle and soft tone.

"How could I not be? He nearly got kidnapped, he fainted on stage, he disappeared, and then he was last seen being carried out of his home by a paramedic."

"It's more than that." Evgenia fixed him with a knowing look and she patted his arm. "You care about him as more than a friend, or as more than someone who records at the same studio as you. You care about him as more than just a fanboy caring about their bias. Conrad. You care about Jun in that way, don't you?"

Conrad looked away from her, turning his eyes down and busying himself with his coffee. For a moment, they both remained silent as they sipped at their drinks.

"It doesn't matter if I feel that way about him or not. I doubt he feels the same and, even if he did, we couldn't be together. He's not allowed to date anyone or do anything like that. His phone is monitored, remember?"

"His heart isn't monitored," Evgenia countered. "Conrad, come on, surely love is what he needs the most right now! He's stuck in a scary hospital, stressed out of his mind probably, and suffering so much."

"And I can't put him through more by taking advantage of his situation," Conrad gave her a curt nod. "I'm going to give Brian his coffee. Join us again when you're ready in the office."

Brian gave him a confused look when he sat back down, and silently accepted the coffee. Conrad sat back down and looked at the maps when he paused and circled one of the Canadian concert locations before he slid it across the desk to Brian.

"You want to do some stops here in Toronto?"

"I think I'd like to end here, if you don't mind. And can I book one of the venues near here to practice at in between two concerts that aren't on consecutive days?"

"You can," Brian raised an eyebrow at him, "but why?"

* * *

"Listen, you need to let me see him."

"I'm sorry sir," the nurse tapped his tablet idly in his hand, "but we can't let you see him unless you're a parent or guardian. He's having no guests."

"Seriously, please, what will it take to get you to let me go and see him."

"I'm afraid I can't just let a random person wander in, claiming to be his friend."

Nathan lingered beside the desk with half a chocolate chip cookie in his mouth, and he looked between the nurse and Conrad.

"Everything alright here?"

"Nathan, you're a medic--"

"Paramedic who helps out around here when they're short staffed, but yes." Nathan raised an eyebrow at the pair of them. "What's going on?"

"Please explain to this man that he is not allowed to go and see his best friend. I know it's hard but we can't just let a random person wander in unattended and--"

"I'll supervise him." Nathan said smoothly. "Come on kiddo. Who are you going to see?"

The nurse spluttered with indignation and Conrad just blinked at Nathan in utter shock.

"Uh... Jun Hwan Cha? I believe he's admitted here."

Nathan glanced at the nurse and nodded. "I'll take him up. Come on. Stick with me and don't break any rules, or it's on my head."

Conrad stuck by his side as Nathan led him out of the waiting room and up, through the elevator, to the floor that Jun was on. In the privacy there, Nathan smiled at him and elbowed him lightly in the side.

"I like your new album, by the way. When are you going on tour?"

"Thanks?" Conrad awkwardly chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Uh, soon. Evgenia and I were working out the dates and venues earlier today."

"Nice," Nathan stepped out into the ward and weaved around people easily. He knocked on one of the wooden doors that led off from the hallway and into a private room. "Mr Cha? Guest to see you."

Yuzuru was the one who opened the door to their room, and his eyes narrowed as they focused on Conrad.

"Why are you here? Did something happen at the club? Is Brian alright? Jason? Evgenia?"

"They're fine, they're fine. I just had to come and see Jun," Conrad gestured past Yuzuru further into the room. "May I?"

Yuzuru stepped back and Conrad's eyes softened when he saw Jun. The flowers still sat in the vase beside his bed, and the handwritten note was on the table underneath his phone. Jun lay back, holding a raccoon plushie over his abdomen, and he lazily opened up his eyes when he heard the chair shifting beside him.

"Hey Jun," Conrad smiled at his best friend as he took hold of his hand, "you okay?"

Jun squeezed his hand and nodded, shuffling closer to Conrad so that he could rest his head on the other's shoulder. "I'm doing better. Still have the occasional nightmare and urge to throw everything up, but I'm doing better. My doctors have really been helping."

Conrad stroked his hair and smiled down at him, meeting his dark eyes with his own honey coloured ones. "That's good. I miss you. We all miss you."

Jun nodded and hid his face in the other's neck. Conrad wrapped his arms around him and stroked the younger's shoulder.

"Stay with me please," Jun whispered, voice heavy with sleepy. Conrad just nodded, resting his cheek on the top of Jun's head as the younger fell asleep in his arms.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So you've been listening to my album, huh?" Conrad raised an eyebrow at Jun as the younger speared a little bit of his red velvet cake with his fork. "What do you think?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI everyone, I hope you're doing well. We're nearing the end of this story! I don't really know what else to say other than thank you so much for reading this and supporting me and everything! Thank you and I hope you enjoy this!

"So you've been listening to my album, huh?" Conrad raised an eyebrow at Jun as the younger speared a little bit of his red velvet cake with his fork. "What do you think?"

"Oh, I love it!" Jun giggled before he covered his mouth and chewed on the cake. Conrad blushed too at the compliment.

"Humour me. Which is your favourite song?"

Jun offered him a forkful of his cake, which Conrad gratefully accepted, before he answered.

"I loved There's Nothing Holding Me Back. It's got such a good beat and it's so fun and I love it. I can't tell you how good it is! But I love pretty much everything on the album. It's such a good debut album."

"Well, it is named after you," Conrad admitted, and Jun adored the blush that painted his cheeks. "Jun, July, August."

"To be honest, my album was for you too. The songs are about my love story and..."

Conrad bit his lip and lowered his eyes. With a smile, he reached over and squeezed Jun's free hand.

"I love you," he whispered, earning the softest, happiest smile Jun had worn for a while, "so much. I know you probably don't want to date a fan, or can't date anyone, or--"

Jun silenced him with a red velvet flavoured kiss that lasted both for a second and forever. When he sat back down and busied himself with his cake again, it took Conrad a good few minutes to truly understand what had just happened. When his brain came down, he hid his face in his hands as Jun giggled at his reaction.

"You are the dorkiest dork who ever was a dork," Jun teased before he sighed and fiddled with his fork. "I wish I could join you on the tour dates, but, as soon as I'm discharged from hospital, it's back to whatever my managers say basically."

"I'd love to have you on tour," Conrad squeezed his free hand. "It'd be so much fun."

"I'm sorry."

"It's alright. I understand. But I do wish that your management would cut you some slack and let you be freer."

Jun hummed. "I normally have Sundays off, and I don't think I should go to a concert anyway at the moment. Yuna said we've got a long way to go in therapy still."

"Your recovery is the most important thing, and you need to take care of yourself."

Jun stabbed another piece of his cake with the fork and held it up with a smile. "To recovery and self care."

"To recovery and self care," Conrad agreed before he opened his mouth to accept the cake offered to him.

The doors to the hospital cafeteria were thrown open and Jun's manager stalked in like a lion hunting down its prey. His face twisted from pissed off to murderous when he saw the pair of them, and Jun shuffled around the table to sit next to Conrad for both protection, and to present a united stance.

"We said no dating. And particularly no dating boys. And have you gained weight, Cha Jun Hwan?!"

With Conrad's hand on his back comforting him, Jun popped in another mouthful of cake before he tried to answer.

"Ajsnfnowejbfoan."

Conrad cut in for him before his manager could respond. "He's at a healthy weight now, and he's doing a lot better. And you shouldn't scream in a hospital. It's extremely rude."

The manager looked him up and down, curling his upper lip in disgust. "Shut up. Who even are you?" He dismissed Conrad easily before he turned back to Jun. "Just how heavy are you now? That doesn't look like 100 pounds."

"That's really not a realistic weight, nor is it healthy." Conrad cut in again. "I care about him, and he's making great progress with their help and without you enforcing stupid and unrealistic expectations on him."

"God, I knew this Canada crap wasn't worth it," his manager said with a firm glare. "Pack your things. I'm signing you out of here and we're flying back to Seoul as soon as possible."

"Okay, that's enough," Yuna cut in as she walked over and sipped at her cup of tea. "Hello, I'm Cha Jun Hwan's doctor, Dr Kim. Jun Hwan isn't going anywhere until I give the green light."

"I will sign out against medical advice then."

"You will do no such thing. You are not a parent or guardian of his. Who, by the way, has been forced into hiding and can't even visit her own son because of what you're not doing to help the situation."

"And also, you can't just take him like that," Conrad pointed out. "He's got a contract with the Cricket Club. You legally cannot take him back without his consent and him breaking that contract."

"I heard legally." In all his Armani suit glory, Stephane walked over to the table and sipped at his own cup of tea. "Nice to meet you, I'm Stephane Lambiel, and I'm a lawyer."

The manager scoffed and fixed him with a firm look. "Am I meant to be scared? And Jun Hwan Cha, put the cake fork down right now."

"Jun, don't," Conrad said as he pulled the younger closer to him and rubbed his shoulder. "You're going to eat it. All of it. And you're not going to do anything about it."

"And if you keep yapping, I can make life very difficult for you. Remember, I'm a doctor."

Jun kept eating the cake and his manager's frustration only increased. His glare darkened at Yuna.

"Is that a threat, Doctor? I can have your license."

"It's a reminder. Until he's discharged, Jun Hwan is under my care and is my responsibility. If I say he needs to gain weight, then he needs to gain weight. And if you keep trying to interfere, especially by pushing your eating disorder triggering beliefs onto him, then I will report you and your entire team for endangering his life."

"Actually," Nathan cut in as he set his freshly brewed cup of coffee down on the table and started dumping handfuls of sugar packets into it, "from the report we took down when we brought him in, he was in a life threatening situation because of his weight. So, Mr Lawyer?"

"Mr Lambiel, please," Stephane smiled before he tapped his chin, "Hmm, I'll have to look at it more carefully, but, if it was intended, it could be interpreted as homicide. Not to mention the actual damage that cause him to collapse during a performance and the lack of proper assistance in the venue. That would be personal injury and negligence." He sipped at his tea. "Again, I'd have to check everything thoroughly but, from what I have now, you will definitely serve time."

The manager turned more and more pale with every word that Stephane spoke. almost in desperation, he turned to Jun and locked eyes with the young singer.

"Jun Hwan, I'm the one who saw your talent. I made you a star!"

Stephane stepped between them, gently but firmly pushing him back by the shoulders. "I'm sorry, but, as the legal representative for all those signed under the Club, I have to ask you to leave my client alone while he recovers. Once he is discharged, I will set a meeting and you can bring your proposal for the termination of his contract."

"This isn't over," Jun's manager snarled as Jun finished off his cake.

"I must insist," Stephane cut in, "that you leave my client alone, or I will be adding harassment to the list of charges."

"Okay, okay," Nathan swallowed down a large mouthful of his strong sugary coffee, "you should probably go before all this caffeine kicks in and I go into cardiac arrest. You really don't want to witness that."

"A wonderful example you've just set Nathan," Yuna rolled her eyes. "This has been enough drama in the cafeteria. I must remind all of you we are in the hospital. Jun Hwan, unless you want another piece of cake, you can go back to your room. With the exception of Mr Lambiel, the rest of you have to leave. Now. Especially you, Mr Paramedic Coffee Addict Chen."

Nathan grumbled and downed his heart attack in a cup as he left. Jun's manager got the sharp, cold look Yuna gave him and finally decided to back down. Jun slipped his hand into Conrad's and looked up at Yuna with puppy dog eyes.

"Can Conrad stay with me?"

"Sorry Jun, but he has to go. Only next of kin are allowed in your room during nighttime."

Leaning against the doorway, Mao couldn't help but smile as she watched the events unfold; the entire time, she was focused on Yuna.

"My God, I love that woman so much."

* * *

Jun's managers didn't let up, but neither did Stephane. In Yuzuru's eyes, the Swiss man was a genius who managed to multitask both his case and Jun's case. Yuzuru's court date was fast approaching, and Stephane was still managing to prepare both him and corroborate the evidence for Jun's case. Brian managed to get into the hospital to visit the pair, as well as Tracy, Ghislain, and Jun's mother. Conrad spent most of his free time before his tour visiting Jun, and Jason publicly supported the pair of them on social media before he went on to announce that he was starting writing his new album. Javier spent a lot of time in the hospital under the guise of working with the pair of them, but, whenever he arrived, Jun would give him a knowing smile and tug Conrad out of the room and down to the cafeteria. Javi opened his arms and cuddled Yuzuru, stroking his hair as he pressed kisses to Yuzuru's cheeks. Their cuddles were disturbed by someone opening the door, and Yuzuru's gaze turned murderous when he recognised the manager who stepped in.

"Get out." Yuzuru said with a voice colder than Siberia in the winter. "Now. He doesn't want to talk to you."

"I can see he isn't here. Do you know where he is and when he'll be back? This hospital isn't so big that he'll be able to hide for long."

"Let me handle this," Javier stood up and advanced on the manager, who matched his every step with one backwards. "Yo no hablo idiota."

The manager looked at him in confusion and Javier flashed him a sunny smile before he slid the door shut in the guy's face. Yuzuru came from behind him and wrapped his arms around his shoulders, pressing kisses to his neck.

"I love it when you speak Spanish. What did you say."

Javier couldn't help but chuckle, and he turned and cupped Yuzuru's waist. "I only said I don't speak idiot."

Yuzuru giggled and dragged Javier back over to the hospital bed where they fell down together. "Well, it sounds sexy."

Javier rolled them so that he was above Yuzuru, smiling down at him as he pressed kisses to the singer's neck.

"Will Mao and Yuna kill me if I have sex with you on this hospital bed?"

"Most likely, but," Yuzuru nibbled on Javier's earlobe and ran his fingers through the other's curls, "I couldn't care less."

Afterwards, Mao was waiting outside the room with her arms folded across her chest and a look of murder on her face.

"You go further than a kiss in this hospital again, and I will castrate both of you. And I'm not talking about the chemical kind."

Yuzuru squeaked and lowered his eyes out of embarrassment. "Understood! Sorry Mao-san!"

She gently tapped him on the head with his clipboard before she turned to leave. Javier wrapped his arm around Yuzuru's shoulders and leaned in next to him to whisper.

"There's a supply closet here. I'm sure no one would notice if we were gone for just a little while."

"We would notice!" Mao shouted back down the corridor to him. "Don't you dare! Rabbits, the pair of you."

"Males," Yuna leaned against the door of her office and smiled down the corridor to Yuzuru and Javier. She pressed a kiss to Mao's cheek and took the clipboard from her. "I'll see you after the rounds? I'll even make you something sweet for dessert when we get home."

"See you," Mao gave her a wave as Yuna went to do her rounds. After a short while, she ended up at Jun's room and slid open the door.

"A wild stringbean appeared," she joked as Conrad's head snapped up and he stroked Jun's hand. "What are you doing in Jun's room alone with the patient."

"Holding his hand while he sleeps," Conrad said gently as he turned his attention away from her and back to him. "He's gorgeous. So gorgeous."

Yuna smiled as she checked his vitals and changed his IV line. "You're a good man, Conrad Orzel. But I have to ask that you go, because it's getting late and you're not allowed to spend the night with him."

"Of course," Conrad stood up and left an envelope on the bedside table. "Sleep well Jun." He leaned down, pressing a kiss to his forehead before he stepped out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [There's Nothing Holding Me Back](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dT2owtxkU8k)  
> Come play with me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Smol_chipmunk)


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Stephane's talent as a lawyer and Nathan's testimony, Yuzuru was cleared of the assault charges filed against him, and he won his own counter lawsuit, successfully charging the tabloids for deformation and he forced them to take down their articles about him that involved slander.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, I hope you're doing well. This story is getting closer to the end so I really hope that you enjoy where it's come from and where it's going, and thank you for reading it. I really hope you like this chapter xxx

Thanks to Stephane's talent as a lawyer and Nathan's testimony, Yuzuru was cleared of the assault charges filed against him, and he won his own counter lawsuit, successfully charging the tabloids for deformation and he forced them to take down their articles about him that involved slander. He then turned his attention to Jun's contract with his Korean managers and he managed to find one of the clauses that he could exploit to get the youngster out of it. With the media gone from around them, Jun was discharged by Yuna, still with regular therapy sessions scheduled, and the first thing he did was go out and buy Stephane a huge bouquet of flowers. When the duo returned to the club, Tracy swept them both up into a hug and kept repeating how much she cared about them and how worried she was. Jason gave them each a wave, and Brian raised an eyebrow at Yuzuru and Javier's linked hands, but didn't comment. Javier sat down with Yuzuru in the recording studio and smiled as the other took out his guitar to start on new ideas.

"Stay," he told Javier as he jotted things down in his notebook. "I like having you next to me. You're inspiring. My muse."

Javier smiled and pressed a kiss to his temple before he stood up. "Green tea? I need a coffee."

"Yes please. You spoil me too much."

"You deserve it. But don't ask me to bring Effie to the club so she can sit with you while you write songs or we'll have an angry Brian and an angry Effie to deal with."

"Mean!" Yuzuru called after him, tone light and teasing, and Javier shook his head with a fond smile.

It felt good to wander the hallways of the club again. Being away from it had been relaxing, but Javier had felt like he was missing a part of himself. Now, with Yuzuru as his boyfriend like he'd wanted for years, Javier felt right being back. He gave Tracy a smile as they poured their hot drinks.

"Jason's going on tour tomorrow, isn't he?"

"Yep," Tracy nodded and sipped at her tea. "First date is in a couple of days' time and he's performing in Chicago."

"Hometown," Javier smiled. "I love it. And he's finishing there too, isn't he?"

"Yep. He's mostly going around the United States, some of Europe, and a special few days in Japan because he really wants to go there, so who are we to say no?"

"Have fun," Javier gave her a wave before he carried the two mugs out. He gave Jun and Conrad a smile as he passed them in the hallway, and he joined Yuzuru again in the recording studio.

He sat down in silence and just watched Yuzuru with a fond smile. The other was so in his element and it was the best thing for Javier to watch. Yuzuru's fingers danced over the guitar frets and he hummed little tunes. He tucked his pencil behind his ear between notes so that he could try out his ideas. Javier watched as the other's eyes sparkled with delight when he had a huge spark of inspiration, and he sipped at his coffee as he relaxed into their safe and warm environment. Javier didn't even realise how long they'd sat there together until Yuzuru's stomach growled loudly enough to break both of them out of their daydreams. They exchanged a look over Yuzuru's acoustic guitar and burst out laughing.

"Hungry?" Javier asked him with a cheeky grin.

"A little. But first, I'd like to just play some of this for you and see what you think."

Javier listened, enveloped in the safe environment that Yuzuru had made by filling the space with his gentle guitar. At the end, they let the music die before their eyes met and they both smiled.

"Beautiful. Now come on. Let's get some food."

Yuzuru left his guitar in the safety of the studio and he slipped his hand into Javier's. The Spaniard squeezed his hand, enjoying the warmth that came from it, before they settled at the corner table in the cafe. As they started eating lunch, Jason and Shoma slid into the seats opposite them, and Jason had his arm around Shoma's shoulders.

"Not to be rude," Shoma said as he speared a piece of steak from within his pasta, "but it only took you two seven years to get together. So congratulations! You're finally together! Well done!"

Yuzuru kicked him hard under the table, and Shoma kicked him back before Jason could stop him. Javier rubbed Yuzuru's shoulders with his free hand and smiled across the table. His smile and Jason's combined lit up the room with the light of ten thousand stars.

"Tour starts in a couple of days I believe?" Javier said and Jason nodded. "Have fun! And I hope it goes better than some of the tours from the club recently."

Jason chuckled. "I hope so too. I know Conrad is starting his All-Canada tour soon, and his album is selling really well for a debut."

"It probably doesn't hurt that he's a very charming young man."

"You can say it Javi. He's a model. He's very attractive and that really doesn't hurt."

"Well," Javier pressed a kiss to Yuzuru's cheek, "I have my own beautiful guitarist that I'm so in love with, so I understand."

"Javi!" Yuzuru blushed but laughed, pressing a kiss to the other's cheek too. "So sappy! You're so very sappy. Spain made you sappy."

"Only for you," Javier responded, and their cuddling was interrupted as Jun and Conrad joined their table. Yuzuru's eyes lit up when he saw the chicken pasta that Jun was carrying and, when Conrad looped his arm around his shoulder, he leaned into him. "Hi kids. How's everything going?"

"It's good," Conrad grinned. "I've got my first rehearsal in one of my Toronto venues later today, and I think Jun's coming with me, right?"

"Right! I want to take a bit of time to enjoy performing before I try to write more songs."

"Well, if you'd like to join my tour at any time, you're welcome to," Jason patted his shoulder, "and I'm sure Conrad would love it if you joined him. But, for now, you should take care of yourself. Make sure that you're mentally and physically alright before you even try to step up onto another stage and perform a concert again."

Jun gave him a grateful smile and nodded, spearing a piece of chicken with his fork. "Thanks Jason. You're one of the best big brothers here. You and Yuzu. I love you both so much."

"Aww, we love you too," Yuzuru gave him a bright smile before their table fell into a comfortable atmosphere.

* * *

"I can't believe you got me a ticket to a private show," Jun said with a giggle as he took his front row seat in the empty arena. "You're so thoughtful Conrad!"

"Well, I initially wanted to invite you to actually come to one of the shows but obviously... Well, also this is a way for me to practice before an actual show."

Jun sat back and enjoyed the show that Conrad performed just for him. As he reached the end of his set, he took the microphone and smiled to Jun.

"And now I'd like to invite a very special guest to join me," Conrad winked at him and, even though there was no one else there, Jun blushed bright red. "Please welcome, from South Korea, Jun Hwan Cha!"

Conrad extended a hand to Jun and helped him up onto the stage. The younger giggled and let Conrad lead him into the middle of the stage.

"You don't have to play anything if you don't want to," Conrad assured him. "I was joking--"

"I want to play something," Jun gestured to the piano and Conrad followed him to it, leaning against it as Jun took his seat. "This is my newest song that I haven't played for anyone yet. Um, it's called Every Day, Every Moment. I hope you like it."

Conrad sighed happily and listened to the other's soft piano music. Jun's voice was soft and so warm. It was beautiful, delicate, and the song was over way before he wanted it to be done. There was a moment of silence after Jun was done and Conrad was shocked. Jun reached into his pocket and handed him a note with the English version of the lyrics scribbled on them. Conrad read them before he cupped his cheeks and pulled him into a gentle kiss.

* * *

"Hello Chicago!" Jason was met by a sea of screams in his home city, and his smile shone brighter than the spotlights. "Thank you all for coming on my tour! We've got to start off with a crowd favourite, so I hope you enjoy!"

The peppy country music of Cotton Eyed Joe filled the arena, and Jason couldn't help but invent a dance on the spot. His crowd got into it and had as much fun as the artist did; for all of them it was over too soon. He then changed the tone, performing Drive By, Dancing on My Own, Fix You, and Let her Go. His audience got into the sombre mood and he laughed sheepishly, pausing between songs to talk to them again.

"Sorry about that! Who wants to raise the tone again, huh?" The audience screamed in agreement and Jason burst out laughing. "You guys are so into it, thank you! You all make me so happy!"

Go Your Own Way started, followed by Fireflies and You Belong With Me. Jason was riding the high of the adrenaline.

"Before our last song, who wants to hear something from the new album?" Jason asked and was met with yet another scream of delight. "This one is dedicated to my partner, who is the most amazing person in the world. I love them with all my heart and would never be where I am today without them, so I hope they enjoy it! And I hope you all enjoy it too. Here we go."

A gentle melody started and the entire audience was entranced by Jason's voice as he sang Just the Way You Are, serenading the mystery person to the audience. The person himself was standing in the wings and had a goofy smile on his face as he watched Jason, the man he loved, pour his heart into the music just for him. He wanted nothing more than to run out onto the stage and sweep the other into a passionate kiss and, had he been a braver man, he might have done it.

"Thank you guys so much! I hope you've all had an amazing time because I know I have. I hope you all get home safely, and here's the final song!"

When Jason was done performing What Makes You Beautiful and the lights shut off, he headed backstage and met Shoma. The shorter fisted the front of Jason's tour shirt and pulled him down so that he could meet his lips in a passionate kiss. Jason ran his fingers through Shoma's curls, gently tugging on them as he liked, and Shoma deepened their kiss. The crew didn't bat an eyelid at the pair of them, and they only broke apart when they needed oxygen again.

"Hi," Jason whispered. "I think you just ruined your hard work on my lipstick."

"Don't care," Shoma whispered as he peppered Jason's cheeks with kisses. "I love you so much and I really wanted to just run out and kiss you in the middle of your performance."

"Well," Jason pressed a soft kiss to each of Shoma's cheeks, "if you're comfortable with it, you can do that at the end of the tour. At the final stop in Chicago. If you want to of course."

"I'd like that," Shoma slid his hand into Jason's. "But first, I'd really like to go back to your hotel room."

Jason chuckled and pressed a kiss to the top of Shoma's head. "Of course."

* * *

_@Kpop_news_

_Cha Jun Hwan has been spotted on a date in Toronto! The date was identified as Canadian star Conrad Orzel. The pair are pictured in a cafe below, and Orzel was captured on camera holding Cha's hand. More will be posted when more is known. Are the two singers gay?_

Brian read the headline once, twice, three times, and grimaced. Reaching blindly for the phone, he clicked on one of the recently used contacts.

"Stephane? Check Twitter."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Every Day Every Moment](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1q_t6RNuH8c)   
>  [Cotton Eyed Joe](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOYZaiDZ7BM)   
>  [Drive By](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxqnFJ3lp5k)   
>  [Dancing on my Own](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q31tGyBJhRY)   
>  [Fix You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4V3Mo61fJM)   
>  [Let Her Go](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBumgq5yVrA)   
>  [Go Your Own Way](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ul-cZyuYq4)   
>  [Fireflies](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psuRGfAaju4)   
>  [You Belong with Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VuNIsY6JdUw)   
>  [Just the Way You Are](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LjhCEhWiKXk)   
>  [What Makes You Beautiful](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJO3ROT-A4E)


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neither Conrad or Jun released a statement about the photograph; Jun kept working on singles at the club while Conrad carried on with his successful Canadian tour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, I hope you've had a good week. We're nearly at the end of this fic so I hope that you like this chapter and thank you so much for reading this

Neither Conrad or Jun released a statement about the photograph; Jun kept working on singles at the club while Conrad carried on with his successful Canadian tour. Tracy watched over Jun as he wrote songs that came from him rather than from his management, and she slipped into the studio alongside him. He gave her a smile that made her heart flutter with a maternal love, and he shuffled along the piano stool to make space for her.

"I played this for Conrad but I'd like to hear your opinion on it too please Tracy. And I'd like to know if you think I should release it as a single or wait until I've finished my next album completely."

Tracy sat and listened. As she watched Jun lose himself in the music and lyrics, she saw the real him emerge more. Always an emotional singer, Jun poured his heart and soul into every song he'd done. This one was written more by him than any other, and Tracy could tell. He was glowing, and the music sounded like gold dust. When he was done, she didn't realise it for several seconds. They sat in the silence together that held the emotions in it, before she finally met his soft, dark eyes, and gave him the most gentle smile.

"Jun," she patted him on the shoulder, "you wrote this one entirely yourself, didn't you?"

Jun nodded, nervous for her response.

"What does some of it mean?"

"The chorus is like: you alone are enough for me, because there's no need for words, I know by your eyes, flowers bloom and wither, every day, every moment, let's be together. Ish. It's more complicated than that."

"It's beautiful, Jun. Your songs have always been amazing, but I felt you couldn't properly get into singing a love song properly when you weren't allowed to date. Now you've really started to experience love and it shows. It's shining through in your lyrics, even though I don't understand them, and it's a pleasure to bear witness to it."

Jun flushed pale pink and fiddled with the piano keys. "I love him, Tracy. I think I have since we first met but I only realised it recently."

"I think you have too. But now? Now you get the time to take it at your own pace, to live as you want to."

"The photo--"

"You don't have to say anything about it if you two don't want to. Conrad's tour is going on and it's very successful, so don't worry about it."

"Thanks Tracy," Jun swung his legs over the piano stool and gave her a cheeky smile. "I'm grabbing some lunch in the cafeteria. Make sure you get enough to eat!"

As he bounced from the room, leaving his teasing words, she shook her head at him fondly and couldn't help the smile that blossomed.

Down the hallway, Javier opened the door to one of the sound booths connected to the recording studio. He stood over Ghislain's shoulder and listened as Yuzuru finished recording one of the songs in his album. Javier had heard all Yuzuru's snippets and had fallen in love with all the songs. If he'd had to pick, this one would have been the one he'd listen to over and over, dancing around in his kitchen slowly with Effie in his arms. Yuzuru gave him a light smile and, during the guitar riff he'd recorded the day before, he blew Javier a kiss through the glass and made both him and Ghislain laugh; luckily the soundproof glass kept them from ruining Yuzuru's album. When he finished recording it and Ghislain gave him the thumbs up, Yuzuru took off his headphones and gestured to Javi to leave the recording room. Out in the corridor, he fell neatly into the space between Javier's arms, cradled to his chest for warmth and comfort, and they headed towards the cafeteria together.

"So, how's this album going?" Javier asked him as they settled down at their table in the corner. "I've heard good things from Ghislain."

"It's good," Yuzuru nodded with that mischievous smirk that made Javier slightly nervous.

"Why do I get the feeling you've done something that Stephane is going to have to sort out for us later down the line?"

"Don't be mean Javi!" Yuzuru stuck his tongue out at him, showing his piercing there. "If the rest of the world knows about it, I might as well use it as inspiration to write."

"Yuzuru, what have you done?" Javier asked him, trying to ignore how crazy just seeing the glimpse of that metallic stud in Yuzuru's tongue made him feel. He'd felt it many times and the memories of those moments made his cheeks heat up and blood flow where it shouldn't in public.

"Nothing! Well, nothing much."

"Yuzuru Hanyu."

"Javi Fernandez Lopez."

Javier rolled his eyes and reached over to steal Pooh-san from the table beside Yuzuru. The singer squeaked in displeasure and indignation, and Javier patted the tissue box holder gently on the head.

"Bet Pooh-san would tell me."

"Javi doesn't speak Japanese! He can't talk to Pooh-san! Give him back!"

"I'm not giving him back until you tell me about your album," Javier teased, holding the tissue box out of Yuzuru's reach. "Come on. Please?"

Like any vaguely normal person, Yuzuru was weak to Javier's chocolate coloured puppy dog eyes that made him melt. He sighed, rolling his eyes in his own over-dramatic fashion.

"The name is Doku kuwaba sara made."

"Which means what exactly?" Javier still held Pooh hostage and narrowed his eyes at the other across the table. Yuzuru blushed and he sighed. "Yuzuru!"

"It means when poisoned, eat the plate. Since they revealed I had glue put in my drink," Yuzuru shrugged and sipped at his flavoured water, "I thought why not use the idiom. And it also means when something bad happens to you, you might as well see it through to the end."

"So, when you and Jun were going through bad things," Javier inquired and Yuzuru nodded.

"See it through to the end. And this album is the end of my mess and hopefully the start of better things. No. Not hopefully." He reached for Javier's hand across the table and squeezed it. "Definitely the start of better things."

* * *

His final tour date came much faster than he anticipated and Jason was a little sad it was almost over when they got back to Chicago. Shoma squeezed his hand before he went on stage and patted Jason on the butt over his sinfully tight jeans.

"Did you put me in these because you like them?" Jason asked, blushing bright red under his light makeup that Shoma had applied for him.

"Also you look really sexy in them. You always look sexy but now," Shoma looked up at him and bit his lip in a way that made Jason's heart leap to his throat, "now I just want you to pin me against that wall and ravish me."

"Later," Jason promised him and he squeezed Shoma's hand. "Are you sure that you want to announce it to the world at the end of the show? It's a big thing and I don't want to throw you into the limelight like this."

"I told you, Jason: wherever you go, I'll go. I want to be with you and, sooner or later, the world will know about us. It'll be leaked online like Jun and Conrad. I'd rather we owned the announcement of our relationship to the world than someone else took it away from us. We get to choose that moment and how it happens, and this is what we've chosen. I want the people to know."

Jason pressed a kiss to his forehead and, instead of the flustered smile he had before, he now had a gentle Jason smile on his face. "I love you so much Shoma. See you at the end of the concert?"

"See you." Shoma kissed Jason's neck right on the Adam's apple. "Good luck to you. Good luck to your beautiful voice. Sing like the perfect angel you are."

Shoma watched from the wings as Jason held the audience in the palm of his hand for the entire time. They loved his performance and fed off the positive energy that he provided, taking in the experience and following along with the journey of emotions that Jason's first album took them on. The crowd's mood grew more sombre as Jason neared the end of his set and their experience with it. Jason took hold of the microphone and took a steadying breath for a second before he spoke.

"So, I there's something I really want to say before we move onto this last song. This album means so much to me because it's my first album working under the direction of Brian and Tracy, and I love them so much. But the songs on this album are all written about someone in particular. I originally didn't think that they felt the way I do, so that's where the sadder songs come from, but now I know that they do. I know love and love from this person means the world from me. My love for them has given me so many ideas ready for my next album and so, for my last song of this concert and tour, please welcome to the stage my beloved boyfriend and muse: Shoma!"

Shoma stepped out and the crowd gasped for a good few seconds. Jason took hold of Shoma's hand, squeezing it, and the crowd erupted into cheers of support for their beloved home artist. Jason pressed a kiss to a blushing Shoma's cheek before he took the microphone off the stand and stepped to the front of the stage with him. He nodded to the sound technician and the music for Unconditional, one of Jason's songs from the album he had yet to release, started to play. Shoma was blushing bright red with embarrassment and love as Jason serenaded him in front of the Chicago audience. They didn't want the experience to be over and Jason thanked them all for coming before he and Shoma left the stage.

"Hotel room," Shoma whispered as he tugged his hand. "Now. You owe me for serenading me in front of the world."

"You loved it though, right?"

Shoma stood on his tiptoes and pressed a kiss to Jason's cheek.

"I love you, Jason."

* * *

Conrad finished his tour with Evgenia and no hitches, and, the day he returned to the club, he was met with a hug from Jun. His heart soared when he held the other's waist and felt softness. He pressed kisses to the other's cheeks and Jun tugged him into on of the recording studios.

"I missed you so much," Jun whispered between kisses as Conrad pressed him against the wall. "So much Conrad."

"I missed you too," he whispered, leaning down to catch the other in a sweet kiss again. Jun's hands went to his hair as Conrad lifted him up and held him against the wall. Jun wrapped his legs around Conrad's waist and Conrad stroked his waist with his thumbs. "God Jun, I adore you so much. Come with me on my tour next time?"

"Come with me on mine," Jun whispered breathlessly. I have something to play for you."

"Later," Conrad slipped a hand up Jun's shirt and the younger held onto him tighter. "It's been way too long since we saw each other, and--"

"Not in my recording studio you don't."

The pair shrieked and Conrad nearly dropped Jun in his haste to get his hand out of the other's shirt. Brian looked at the pair of them with his hands on his hips and a highly resigned look on his face.

"God, and I thought Yuzuru and Javier were bad. Out! Come on. Go home and have your reunion. Or, better yet, don't. Just no more making out in my recording studios again."

"Yes Brian!" The pair ducked out of the studio hand in hand, and Jun giggled as he dragged him towards the cafeteria. "Let's get some tea and chat, yeah?"

"Sounds perfect," Conrad squeezed his hand and pressed a kiss to his cheek as they headed down the corridor together."

_@Tananananaka_

_Hanyu Yuzuru's 8th Album is on sale now! All downloads within the first day get entered into the draw for a chance to win this pooh bear signed by Yuzuru himself_

_@Jun_July_August_

_Check out my two new singles: Move; and Every Day, Every Moment! I hope you have as much fun listening to them as I did writing them! No news about another album yet so watch this space x_

"For a guy who posts mostly banana pictures on twitter and landscape pictures on Instagram, he's very good at promoting my albums." Yuzuru told Javier with a smile as he scrolled through twitter with his secret account. "Ryuju's is prettier though."

"He is a professional photographer," Javier pulled him closer on the bed and pressed kisses to Yuzuru's naked shoulder. "And it's you. Your albums sell like ice lollies on a hot day."

"Speaking of," Yuzuru threw his phone across the room and gave Javier a wicked smirk, "I haven't had my ice lolly yet."

_ Doku kuwaba sara made _

_Story_

_Hard to Love_

_Stand Out Fit In_

_Halicon Candy_

_Kurenai_

_Apocalypse_

_Endless Rain_

_Because of You_

_Katamoi_

_Forever Love_

_Wherever You Are_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Every Day, Every Moment](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1VcT2zoI0M)   
>  [Unconditionally](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjwZAa2EjKA)   
>  [Move](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcEyUNeZqmY)   
>  [Story](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2fPYlGKdXM)   
>  [Hard to Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sb1UZPc3vTA)   
>  [Stand Out Fit In](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGInsosP0Ac)   
>  [Halicon Candy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxYM1P4g57s)   
>  [Kurenai](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6lKT8REALw)   
>  [Apocalypse](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wd8P7wTnWJs)   
>  [Endless Rain](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhOFg_3RV5Q)   
>  [Because of You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLEhu9nIy40)   
>  [Kataomoi](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSOJk7ggJts)   
>  [Forever Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fqnfiwBfIo)   
>  [Wherever You Are](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fug816ocVqs)


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hello Sendai!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I'm sorry this chapter is late. I completely forgot to update last night. Happy Jun day everyone! May he have another amazing year full of success and happiness.   
> We're at the end of this story and I'd just like to say thank you so much to everyone who has read and supported this. I hope you enjoy this last chapter too!

"Hello Sendai!"

Yuzuru stepped out onto the stage in his skin-tight black jeans and black tour shirt and the crowd went wild. With his dark eyes framed by mascara and eyeliner and with his earrings catching the light, Yuzuru looked like a dream and nightmare in one. He had his simple red and black electric guitar and Keiji had helped him paint his nails to match. Ryuju had added nail rhinestones to each of them to help them catch the light. His tour, unlike the last one, had gone off without a hitch, and they'd finally reached his hometown. Sendai had always been one of his favourite places to perform, and he always gave 20% of the profits from his normal tours to disaster relief efforts, and all the profits from specific charity shows he'd done in the past. The sales of merchandise, competitions to win signed guitars, albums, and pooh bears, they were all to help his hometown and other places wrecked by nature around the world. He grinned and played a couple of songs from his seventh album for the crowd before he moved on. Their chance to hear that album live had been destroyed by poor circumstances, and Yuzuru had fallen in love with Cassis and Pledge as songs. Once they were over, Yuzuru held the microphone and spoke.

"I'd like to invite a young person who knows how to use a guitar up on stage with me." At Yuzuru's announcement, people started clamouring to be invited up. He nodded to Keiji, who was waiting by the side of the audience, and his friend chose a teenage boy to join Yuzuru on stage. With a smile, Yuzuru passed him a pale blue electric guitar that had been resting by the side of the stage and told him the chords.

"Don't worry about getting it wrong," Yuzuru told him with a laugh, "cause I always do. Just enjoy it, okay? And follow me."

With the youngster beside him as accompaniment, Yuzuru played Story for the audience as well. The teenager kept up with him and Yuzuru was impressed with some of his improvisation, even if it was a little hesitant in places. The end of the song was mostly drowned out by the appreciation of the crowd, and the teen tried to pass Yuzuru the guitar back.

"It's yours! As a thank you for helping and accompanying me," Yuzuru told him with a scrunchy smile at the sight of the teen's widened eyes. "And now, please, welcome my beloved guest to play some of his new singles. Please put your hands together for Cha Jun Hwan!"

Jun stepped out and was met with polite cheers; the fans understood that he was still a little hesitant when it came to crowds and performances. Yuzuru had increased the security so much for his concert to try and help calm him down. Yuna and Mao both stood together in the wings of the stage just in case something were to happen, and Jun bowed to the Sendai crowd.

"Thank you so much for having me," he said softly into his head microphone. "My first solo is one of my singles for my new album to come. I hope you all enjoy Move!"

The Japanese crowd adored Jun's music and loved the song. Yuzuru and Javier stood together backstage watching as he held them in the palm of his hand and relaxed on stage like he never had before. Yuzuru tensed for a moment, ensnared by panic as Jun sat down at the piano to start his second single, but he needn't have worried. Jun was fine, and the crowd adored him. When he was done he giggled with that sunshine smile that melted hearts all around the world. His career was born as Boy with a Star, but he'd grown to a young man with passion and emotions to power him through even his darkest and hardest moments. He'd suffered, but it made his brights shine brighter.

"God, he's like my baby," Yuzuru said with a light laugh. "My singing baby. I would fight anyone who hurt him."

"You did already," Javier teased him and kissed his cheek lightly. "Go on. You're back on in a second."

"Don't get complacent without me. You'll be coming on soon too."

Yuzuru stuck his tongue out at him before he stepped out and pulled Jun into a hug. Even though the younger was much taller than him, he somehow managed to look smaller than him in his arms. He sat back down at the piano and Javier sighed with a soft, fond smile when he heard the start of their song At Gwanghwamun. Mao and Yuna glanced over at Javier and laughed, smiling at each other as Yuna pressed kisses to Mao's cheeks.

"I love them," Javier explained. "I love how the two of them just... Know how to make life better with their songs."

"You do too. Just because you don't write songs anymore doesn't mean that your old songs don't bring love to those who hear them."

Javier gave them grateful smiles before he went back to watching. Yuzuru had a way with words and music that no one else in the world did. He was like an intricate spinner weaving his thread of harmonies and emotions, tying people's hearts together and tugging on their heartstrings. He looked down at his own tour shirt Yuzuru had given him, and he adjusted the sleeves. Yuzuru played Home with Jun, he played Last Heaven, and Tears alone before he started through the new album. When he glanced tot he side and caught Javier's eyes during some of the softer songs, he almost felt like crying from the overwhelming waves of love that ran through him. After going through most of the songs on his eighth album, Yuzuru smiled to the audience and took a break in the music to talk again.

"I'd like to invite two guests to the stage this time. I'd like to invite back Cha Jun Hwan! And please, Sendai, please cheer for my beloved dear friend and recording partner, Javier Fernandez!"

Javier stepped onto the stage and hugged Yuzuru, being careful of his guitar. Yuzuru took it off and passed it to Keiji while Jun took his seat at the piano, nodding to the pair. The Sendai crowd screamed with delight as they recognised the opening piano music of Me Muero Por Conocerte. Yuzuru felt like he was transported back, back a few years, back to Madrid, and back to where he was the happiest. In that moment, that moment of music and peace between him and Javier, he felt the jigsaw pieces fall into place in his heart and he knew. He reached his hand out to the other and Javier took it, stroking the back of his hand lightly with his thumb. The song was over much too fast for the pair of them, and the crowd were polite enough to hold the silence for them to enjoy and savour. Yuzuru patted Javier on the shoulder before he stepped off stage, leaving him with Jun to perform his most famous and adored song, Prometo. He'd always loved that song and adored watching Javier sing it to his home. Keiji had to elbow Yuzuru in the back to shake him out of his Javier induced stupor so that he could go back on stage. He smiled and waved, giving Javier another hug and he stopped him from leaving the stage.

"I know we're getting to the end of the concert, so thank you all so much for being here. I'd like Javier to stay with me on stage for this penultimate song as it is dedicated to him. Join in please if you know it everyone."

Javier looked at him with wide eyes. They'd discussed revealing their relationship to the world and Javier agreed that Yuzuru could do whatever he thought was the best when it came to coming out. When Wherever You Are started to play, Javier laughed and squeezed Yuzuru's hand tighter. As the crowd joined in, and he saw Jun joining in too from off stage, Javier could only hear Yuzuru singing the love song. He'd explained the lyrics once to Javier but, in that moment, the meaning didn't matter in the slightest. All that mattered was that Yuzuru's eyes were locked onto his, sparkling like a pair of onyx jewels that the gods had hand polished and placed alongside the stars. Eyes made of jewels, voice made of liquid gold, body hand crafted by angels, and heart made full of love and sensitivity, Javier felt a tear slip down the side of face when he thought about how lucky he was to have this Yuzuru next to him. As the song ended, in front of all the people of Sendai, Javier cupped Yuzuru's cheeks and pulled him into a deep, passionate kiss. The people went silent for a moment before the arena was filled with rapturous applause for their love. Yuzuru didn't care that anyone was watching; his hands went to Javier's hair and tangled in the curls as he pulled him impossibly closer. That tongue that had sung beautiful words of love and promises in Spanish tasted of coffee sweetened by honey. Yuzuru's, that contained a metallic stud, tasted instead of citrus and mint. He could forget that the world was watching when Yuzuru was taking over his every sense and was intertwined with every fibre of his being. When they parted for air, Yuzuru gave him a soft smirk that was uncharacteristic for his on stage persona.

"Without Javi, I wouldn't be who I am today," Yuzuru told the crowd. He was slightly breathless as he spoke to the audience and Javier felt a little proud that he managed to cause that. "I owe him my everything, and I can't tell you how much he means to me. Javi is my world. There is nothing else I can say. Javi," he reached for his hand and squeezed it as they held each other, "thank you."

The crowd applauded Yuzuru's little speech and showed their appreciation for Javier. The Spaniard blushed and Yuzuru let go of his hand to take his Kaneki guitar.

"You've been listening to me sing this for long enough, Javi. You should be able to join us with this song."

Javier burst out laughing as Yuzuru started singing and playing Unravel, the piece that started his career. He joined in with the little bits he knew but it wasn't much and the audience knew much more than he did. They sang with Yuzuru and Javier took to admiring Yuzuru and his singing voice. At the end of Unravel, they left the stage and Yuzuru immediately leaned his head on Javier's shoulder.

"I love you so much," Javier whispered as he moved the hair out of Yuzuru's eyes. "So very much."

"Say it in Spanish please?" Yuzuru looked up at him with his wide dark eyes that Javier just couldn't refuse. "Pretty please?"

"Te amo quierdo," Javier peppered his nose and cheeks with kisses. "Te amo."

Jun bid the pair of them farewell and took his modest box of gifts back to his hotel room with him. Yuzuru and Javier helped the crew sort things out at the venue before they went to collect the boxes of gifts for them. Javier had to help Yuzuru carry the mountains of pooh bears to their hotel room and, instead of Keiji, he filmed Yuzuru jumping into a pile of them after the show. He squealed with delight, showing the other side of his personality instead of the rock star so many were used to, before he stopped and picked out a pooh bear dressed as a bee. He passed it to Javier and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"For my honey," he teased.

Javier rooted around in the pile of pooh bears and smiled when he picked out a pooh bear holding a Yuzu citrus fruit. He made it kiss Yuzuru's cheek and laughed before he kissed him too.

"Yuzu Pooh bear for my Yuzu."

Yuzuru tugged him down onto their hotel bed and they cuddled up in each other's arms.

"You'll stay with me?" Yuzuru asked, "Even though I'm a pain with so many fans and--"

"Yuzuru," Javier cut him off with a soft kiss, "I love all of you. I love you so much. I promise to stay with you. Lo prometo."

Yuzuru's nose scrunched up in a happy smile and he cupped Javier's cheeks, pulling him into a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Cassis](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37dGDZ0hlB4)   
>  [Pledge](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3khQd1dnaP0)   
>  [Story](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2fPYlGKdXM)   
>  [Move](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcEyUNeZqmY)   
>  [Boy with a Star](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQWBGD0YP5A)   
>  [At Gwanghwamun](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUbq_IXBaYg)   
>  [Last Heaven](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tq9YLNBHIzY)   
>  [Tears](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tTNybXzqb-g)   
>  [Me Muero Por Conocerte](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mk10O26j5-k)   
>  [Prometo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXA3NaNO26c)   
>  [Wherever You Are](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fug816ocVqs)   
>  [Unravel](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fve_lHIPa-I)


End file.
